11.20.2009
11.18.2009
Health officials decry report on mammograms
http://m.billingsgazette.com/mobile/article_09abc8ba-d3d7-11de-a898-001cc4c002e0.html
http://m.billingsgazette.com/mobile/article_09abc8ba-d3d7-11de-a898-001cc4c002e0.html
11.17.2009
Whining about my mouth/jaw...sorry.
Here is a link to the best information I have found regarding my condition....I have had a million and one people ask me about it, and why they can't "fix" it, and what they are going to do next, etc. Here is a good article regarding my condition and the treatment of my condition...
http://jop.stateaffiliates-asco.org/JanuaryIssue/7.pdf
I do think I would think twice before ever taking IV Zometa, and I will NEVER go back on it again! I am miserable! I have had a "toothache" for 3 months now! I think the drug company should add to the list of warnings that it CAN and DOES spontaniously occur in patients that have had NO dental work done, and who have EXCELLENT teeth and dental hygiene. I know...because it happened to me.
I see the oral surgeon again tomorrow. I hope he has an idea for better pain management!
What am I thankful for?! Pain medication.
http://jop.stateaffiliates-asco.org/JanuaryIssue/7.pdf
I do think I would think twice before ever taking IV Zometa, and I will NEVER go back on it again! I am miserable! I have had a "toothache" for 3 months now! I think the drug company should add to the list of warnings that it CAN and DOES spontaniously occur in patients that have had NO dental work done, and who have EXCELLENT teeth and dental hygiene. I know...because it happened to me.
I see the oral surgeon again tomorrow. I hope he has an idea for better pain management!
What am I thankful for?! Pain medication.
11.09.2009
11.03.2009
11.01.2009
10.27.2009
New email address!
GETTING THINGS TOGETHER! After 10 1/2 months, I spent most of today trying to get my bills and affairs into better order.
My daycare payments have been incorrect, so I have been paying too much (great record keeping, huh), but at least I don't owe extra.
My email has also been going thru Dan's modem rather than mine, so I could never fix my connection and haven't been getting email on my PC forever (been using my blackberry for everything) but, after 3 hours on the phone with timewarner, an help from Dan, I have a new email address. Please make a note of it...
tharnly1@neb.rr.com!
Please do not use tharnly@neb.rr.com or tmarymoon@yahoo.com or tmarymoon@gmail.com. I no longer check them...it is TOO MUCH to keep track of! Thank you!
What am I thankful for? The 2nd person a timewarner that helped me- she was great, Dan for helping out in the middle of his work day, and the couple coors lights that helped me with my patience. You know how I am....I want everything fixed YESTERDAY! =)
Now I am going to watch Johnny Cash- Walk the Line with a friend....Love it!
My daycare payments have been incorrect, so I have been paying too much (great record keeping, huh), but at least I don't owe extra.
My email has also been going thru Dan's modem rather than mine, so I could never fix my connection and haven't been getting email on my PC forever (been using my blackberry for everything) but, after 3 hours on the phone with timewarner, an help from Dan, I have a new email address. Please make a note of it...
tharnly1@neb.rr.com!
Please do not use tharnly@neb.rr.com or tmarymoon@yahoo.com or tmarymoon@gmail.com. I no longer check them...it is TOO MUCH to keep track of! Thank you!
What am I thankful for? The 2nd person a timewarner that helped me- she was great, Dan for helping out in the middle of his work day, and the couple coors lights that helped me with my patience. You know how I am....I want everything fixed YESTERDAY! =)
Now I am going to watch Johnny Cash- Walk the Line with a friend....Love it!
10.21.2009
10.16.2009
10.15.2009
10.13.2009
10.12.2009
10.08.2009
10.05.2009
9.29.2009
9.28.2009
9.23.2009
9.21.2009
9.16.2009
9.15.2009
9.14.2009
9.10.2009
9.08.2009
9.03.2009
9.01.2009
8.26.2009
8.25.2009
8.19.2009
8.18.2009
8.17.2009
8.15.2009
Waiting for the plan to start
Well, I am stopping the IV Herceptin because it is no longer keeping my cancer stable. I will stay on Zometa to keep my bones strong and slow the progression of the cancer that is in my rib and my spine (T11, T3 still looks stable). The rib pain is back, but with pain killers it still goes away completely. Hopefully the new chemo will help that also.
As for the lymphnodes above my left clavical, those are no longer seen on CT scan afters May's surgery and radiation treatment.
What is new is the lymphnodes above my right clavical and the nodule in my lung...I believe it is the left lower lobe.
The drugs I will be taking are Tykerb (which is the "next" Herceptin) and Xeloda, which is always taken in combination with the Tykerb.
Tykerb, as I understand it, is a biological drug that attacks only cancer cells, so is easier on the body. Xeloda is a chemotherapy which will have many of the other chemo sifde effects.
As for the hair...it might just thin, rather than falling out. I learned my lesson last time, so I am going to wait and see, rather than running out and chopping my hair off like I did last time!
Both of the new drugs are taken in pill form, which will reduce the hours spent in the oncology office! All I will have to go to the oncology office for is the IV Zometa, which only takes 30 minutes to infuse, and for my check ups with Dr. Langdon.
The Tykerb has to be delivered directly to me, and the Xeloda is picked up at the pharmacy with the anti-nausea meds, etc.
Right now I just have to wait for the Tykerb delivery arangements to be finalized and then I am good to go.
The Arimidex that I am taking makes me nauseous and causes some not so sweet hot flashes. I have switched over from the space heater to the fan!
That is all for now. ...I will let you know how things go when I get into it. I dont really know what to expect right now.
What am I thankful for?!
Dottie at Little Lingdom. She is an amazing support person for my kids!
As for the lymphnodes above my left clavical, those are no longer seen on CT scan afters May's surgery and radiation treatment.
What is new is the lymphnodes above my right clavical and the nodule in my lung...I believe it is the left lower lobe.
The drugs I will be taking are Tykerb (which is the "next" Herceptin) and Xeloda, which is always taken in combination with the Tykerb.
Tykerb, as I understand it, is a biological drug that attacks only cancer cells, so is easier on the body. Xeloda is a chemotherapy which will have many of the other chemo sifde effects.
As for the hair...it might just thin, rather than falling out. I learned my lesson last time, so I am going to wait and see, rather than running out and chopping my hair off like I did last time!
Both of the new drugs are taken in pill form, which will reduce the hours spent in the oncology office! All I will have to go to the oncology office for is the IV Zometa, which only takes 30 minutes to infuse, and for my check ups with Dr. Langdon.
The Tykerb has to be delivered directly to me, and the Xeloda is picked up at the pharmacy with the anti-nausea meds, etc.
Right now I just have to wait for the Tykerb delivery arangements to be finalized and then I am good to go.
The Arimidex that I am taking makes me nauseous and causes some not so sweet hot flashes. I have switched over from the space heater to the fan!
That is all for now. ...I will let you know how things go when I get into it. I dont really know what to expect right now.
What am I thankful for?!
Dottie at Little Lingdom. She is an amazing support person for my kids!
8.10.2009
8.09.2009
8.05.2009
Hurry up and wait....
Well, the scans were done yesterday. My doctor is not in the office again until Monday the 10th, so I will go in at 9:30am that day to get my scan results and discuss what to do next.
In the mean time I purchased livingroom furniture and a video camera (to start a video journal), so, what I am saying is... I should have plenty to do with all my nervous energy.
Unfortunately, I am having a very tearful week and I am nervous to get the scan results (I guess that is natural in my situation).
I sure hope and pray that my cancer has only spread in my neck and not to other places!
But, until Monday I will try to keep the "what ifs" at bay as much as possible and spend some quality time with my kiddos and my BFF's!
What am I thankful for?!
Amy's new baby! Her baby pics are making me happy....what a beautiful little girl! Welcome to the world Graclyn!
In the mean time I purchased livingroom furniture and a video camera (to start a video journal), so, what I am saying is... I should have plenty to do with all my nervous energy.
Unfortunately, I am having a very tearful week and I am nervous to get the scan results (I guess that is natural in my situation).
I sure hope and pray that my cancer has only spread in my neck and not to other places!
But, until Monday I will try to keep the "what ifs" at bay as much as possible and spend some quality time with my kiddos and my BFF's!
What am I thankful for?!
Amy's new baby! Her baby pics are making me happy....what a beautiful little girl! Welcome to the world Graclyn!
8.03.2009
FYI regarding Music...
If you go to the bottom of the page, you can pick which song off my list you would like to listen to, otherwise it randomly plays them.
I am always thankful for the music in my life! I always have a theme song!
I am always thankful for the music in my life! I always have a theme song!
PERSEVERED
What am I thankful for?! All those that "weathered the storm" with me at Relay! The rain came down but we PERSEVERED & the early morning hours were beautiful!
Relay Update
Perseverance raised approx $18,000! I am so proud of our team! 13 team members raised $1000 or more! WOW! Great for a "transitional" year! HOPE!!!
I update facebook much more often due to the ease & speed of it, & because I don't have to wait for the kids to go to sleep. Friend me @ Tracy Lingwall Harnly!
Thankful
What am I thankful for?! The thoughts and prayers coming from all my family/friends, and for time at the pool with my kiddos (yep, blogging via text poolside!).
Health Update
Well, I finished radiation from the metastatic disease in my left clavicular lymphnodes and was feeling good. Unfortunately this last Tuesday I found new lumps on the other side of my neck....same set of nodes, just on the opposite side.
CRAP!!!!!!!! (sorry)
I have CT scans of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis tomorrow, and then I consult with my oncologist on 8/10. That is a lot more WAITING!
Thankful for?!
The last 4 1/2 years that my treatment has been working well (for the most part).
CRAP!!!!!!!! (sorry)
I have CT scans of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis tomorrow, and then I consult with my oncologist on 8/10. That is a lot more WAITING!
Thankful for?!
The last 4 1/2 years that my treatment has been working well (for the most part).
7.13.2009
5.28.2009
YEE-HAW!
Heading out to the SUGARLAND concert!!!! Thank you to my BFF's Lori and Amy for the ticket! What an AWESOME b'day present!!!
I am thinking they are going to want me to go on tour with them, so I am packing a bag! =)
What am I thankful for?!?! Some time in the sun today!
I am thinking they are going to want me to go on tour with them, so I am packing a bag! =)
What am I thankful for?!?! Some time in the sun today!
5.25.2009
Where do I start first?
A lot has happened in the last month and a half. The fist thing I can think of is the play that Tracy and I attended in Omaha. It was a group of three actors who acted out the feelings that women have after breast cancer treatment....waiting for normal to return! It was a great play and hit a lot of topics that face women in this situation. The actors were out of Canada. Tracy and I were trying to figure out how to get them to Lincoln next year! They also have a play that addresses metastatic cancer. I would be interested in seeing that too, I am sure a lot of the feelings are the same, but I assure you having metastatic cancer carries it's own special set of feelings.
Speaking of metastatic cancer, I finished my radiation to my rib and my pain is now gone. I don't thing the cancer in that area is all gone, but at least the pain is relieved. I am back to sitting at work! WooHoo! I love being lazy!
I did go ahead and run the Lincoln 1/2 Marathon, with encouragement from some, but not all. And to those of you that didn't want me to do it....poo on you. It may have saved my life, at least for now! As I was driving to Omaha after the Marathon to see Skye play baseball, I was feeling the sore muscles in my shoulders and chest from the run and accidentally found lumps in my neck, right above my left collarbone. The 2 lumps that I found were hard and not painful. This was worrisome to me! So, when I got to the game, I pulled aside my doctor friend and had him feel them. He told me to go have them checked out. So, the next morning I went and had them looked at by my oncologist. He sent me strainght down for scans. The scans showed abnormality only in that area. The rest of the scans were unchanged from before.
I went to the surgeon that same week and he took out the two biggest lymphnodes. They were positive for breast cancer. He said there were several smaller nodes that had also showed up on scans, but to remove them all was not a good idea, as it would cause a host of other problems.
When I went back in for my regular treatment, the doc added Arimidex to my treatment (which is a pill I take daily), and set me up to meet with a radiation oncologist, at my request.
I met with the radiation oncologist this past Thursday, and he spoke with me for 1 1/2 hours. He showed me what the CT scan showed, and we discussed treatment. He said that there was no need for me to do the radiaiton because the cancer was not causing me any pain or other symptoms, but I disagreed. I feel that being able to see and feel my cancer causes emotional symptoms and I want the area radiated! He said he would do it if that is what I wanted.
Yep, that is what I want. KILL THE CANCER!!!!! I go for my first treament tomorrow!
I will keep everone updated, as I have a lot more to BLOG about, but this is a bummer topic that I don't want to miss watching Chelsea Lately to discuss!
What am I thnakful for?! My 35th Birthday! The American Cancer Society is the official sponsor of MY birthday!!!!!!
Speaking of metastatic cancer, I finished my radiation to my rib and my pain is now gone. I don't thing the cancer in that area is all gone, but at least the pain is relieved. I am back to sitting at work! WooHoo! I love being lazy!
I did go ahead and run the Lincoln 1/2 Marathon, with encouragement from some, but not all. And to those of you that didn't want me to do it....poo on you. It may have saved my life, at least for now! As I was driving to Omaha after the Marathon to see Skye play baseball, I was feeling the sore muscles in my shoulders and chest from the run and accidentally found lumps in my neck, right above my left collarbone. The 2 lumps that I found were hard and not painful. This was worrisome to me! So, when I got to the game, I pulled aside my doctor friend and had him feel them. He told me to go have them checked out. So, the next morning I went and had them looked at by my oncologist. He sent me strainght down for scans. The scans showed abnormality only in that area. The rest of the scans were unchanged from before.
I went to the surgeon that same week and he took out the two biggest lymphnodes. They were positive for breast cancer. He said there were several smaller nodes that had also showed up on scans, but to remove them all was not a good idea, as it would cause a host of other problems.
When I went back in for my regular treatment, the doc added Arimidex to my treatment (which is a pill I take daily), and set me up to meet with a radiation oncologist, at my request.
I met with the radiation oncologist this past Thursday, and he spoke with me for 1 1/2 hours. He showed me what the CT scan showed, and we discussed treatment. He said that there was no need for me to do the radiaiton because the cancer was not causing me any pain or other symptoms, but I disagreed. I feel that being able to see and feel my cancer causes emotional symptoms and I want the area radiated! He said he would do it if that is what I wanted.
Yep, that is what I want. KILL THE CANCER!!!!! I go for my first treament tomorrow!
I will keep everone updated, as I have a lot more to BLOG about, but this is a bummer topic that I don't want to miss watching Chelsea Lately to discuss!
What am I thnakful for?! My 35th Birthday! The American Cancer Society is the official sponsor of MY birthday!!!!!!
4.06.2009
The Tracys
Today was treatment day, and I was actually kind of excited because I got to spend it with my friend Tracy! We are now on basically the same treatment. So, I think we are going to make it a date...every three weeks for a year. Then she will go on her way, and I will have to find a new buddy to carry on with! That shouldn't be too hard. There was a newly diagnosed girl there with the same type of breast cancer as Tracy and I. She looked younger than us, and both Tracy and I felt badly for her. What a scary time in her life. Hope we made it a little less scary with our laughter and carrying on!
Well, I know I said a while back that I was having a lot of rib pain which lead me to have some xrays. The xrays read, "complete destruction of the right posterior 7th rib, unchanged from 2006". Well, how would it be changed, would it be complete-er destruction of the rib? All I know is that the pain continues and has been there constantly for the last 2-3 months, despite trying tx with a new physical therapist/chiropractor. So, I had a new desk brought into my office so I can do all my computer work from a standing position. This has been helping. Most of the pain comes from sitting or lying down. Anyway, I think the lack of sleep is wearing on me...I don't cope with things very well when I am tired, and there are things that go on in everyday life that test your nerves and mine are frayed.
So.....I start radiation tomorrow. The will radiate my rib. The cancer starts in the back and has grown around the side of my body, towards the front...hence the pain.
They will do 10 treatments with radiation, and then they will assess my pain level and scan me again! I hope this works, because I ran the State Farm 5K 2 weekends ago, and was hoping to get into the upcoming 10K. This lack of training due to lack of motivation stemming from my weight gain, pain, and lack of sleep is not going to be all that helpful in getting me across that finish line but.....I can still walk....crawl! Never say never, right?! My last radiation treatment will fall on the day one of the greatest girls ever, Lori, runs the BOSTON MARATHON!!! Yeah for Lori!!! SHE ROCKS the kasbah!
However, on a very sad note, I have a funeral to attend this Wednesday. The benefit I went to in Seward that I was all excited about because I think the town really stepped up and helped out, well...Scott passed away on Saturday evening, leaving behind a beautiful young wife, an adorable little boy, and lots of family and friends...WHY!???? ........my thoughts and prayers have been going out to them for quite some time, and they continue on now. I am sending them all the love I can during this difficult time of trying to cope, care for a confused child, and make funeral arrangements. Please keep them in your thoughts too. You guys are the best!
On a brighter note, I get to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, for free, in exchange for helping the Lincoln Jump Club promote a fundraiser weekend that they are having in July (more details to come). I am SOOO excited! One more thing to check off the bucket list!!! If things are going well, I am even going to packet a chute! I am so lucky to have this to look forward to!
What I am thankful for?!?! I am thankful that all the crap we as adults have to deal with, has not negatively impacted my children (too badly) as far as I can tell. They are both amazing boys. And, I am anxious to see Skye speak at the Relay team captain meeting tomorrow night!
Well, I know I said a while back that I was having a lot of rib pain which lead me to have some xrays. The xrays read, "complete destruction of the right posterior 7th rib, unchanged from 2006". Well, how would it be changed, would it be complete-er destruction of the rib? All I know is that the pain continues and has been there constantly for the last 2-3 months, despite trying tx with a new physical therapist/chiropractor. So, I had a new desk brought into my office so I can do all my computer work from a standing position. This has been helping. Most of the pain comes from sitting or lying down. Anyway, I think the lack of sleep is wearing on me...I don't cope with things very well when I am tired, and there are things that go on in everyday life that test your nerves and mine are frayed.
So.....I start radiation tomorrow. The will radiate my rib. The cancer starts in the back and has grown around the side of my body, towards the front...hence the pain.
They will do 10 treatments with radiation, and then they will assess my pain level and scan me again! I hope this works, because I ran the State Farm 5K 2 weekends ago, and was hoping to get into the upcoming 10K. This lack of training due to lack of motivation stemming from my weight gain, pain, and lack of sleep is not going to be all that helpful in getting me across that finish line but.....I can still walk....crawl! Never say never, right?! My last radiation treatment will fall on the day one of the greatest girls ever, Lori, runs the BOSTON MARATHON!!! Yeah for Lori!!! SHE ROCKS the kasbah!
However, on a very sad note, I have a funeral to attend this Wednesday. The benefit I went to in Seward that I was all excited about because I think the town really stepped up and helped out, well...Scott passed away on Saturday evening, leaving behind a beautiful young wife, an adorable little boy, and lots of family and friends...WHY!???? ........my thoughts and prayers have been going out to them for quite some time, and they continue on now. I am sending them all the love I can during this difficult time of trying to cope, care for a confused child, and make funeral arrangements. Please keep them in your thoughts too. You guys are the best!
On a brighter note, I get to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, for free, in exchange for helping the Lincoln Jump Club promote a fundraiser weekend that they are having in July (more details to come). I am SOOO excited! One more thing to check off the bucket list!!! If things are going well, I am even going to packet a chute! I am so lucky to have this to look forward to!
What I am thankful for?!?! I am thankful that all the crap we as adults have to deal with, has not negatively impacted my children (too badly) as far as I can tell. They are both amazing boys. And, I am anxious to see Skye speak at the Relay team captain meeting tomorrow night!
3.29.2009
My best days...
This weekend was not only difficult, but wonderful. On Friday night I had the honor of speaking at two Relay For Life events, one at Creighton University and one a UNO. As always, I met people who are fighting the fight. I talked with people, laughed with people, and cried with people. We came together for a common goal, and that goal being Celebrating, Remembering, and Fighting Back! I celebrated with those who fought and won. I cried for those I lost, and I felt empowered by having the opportunity to Fight Back against cancer by passing on a strong message of early detection and being proactive with ones own health. We are our own best advocates!
On Saturday morning I was able to run a road race with my two best guys, Skye Pie and Lakers! I am so proud of them! One mile is a long way to run when you have short little legs! I ran a 5K and was happy to finish without having to stop and walk! I haven't run in months, so I was happy with that!
Today, I went to a benefit in my hometown. It is tragicly sad to see a beautiful young family affected by cancer, and I was overcome with emotion as I walked in, and had to take a moment. The benefit looked to be quite a success, and I am proud to say I am from Seward, as the community really comes together when one of their own is in need of help! I feel blessed to be a part of that.
Honestly, there is nothing better than paying it forward!
What am I thankful for!?! Being asked to help.
On Saturday morning I was able to run a road race with my two best guys, Skye Pie and Lakers! I am so proud of them! One mile is a long way to run when you have short little legs! I ran a 5K and was happy to finish without having to stop and walk! I haven't run in months, so I was happy with that!
Today, I went to a benefit in my hometown. It is tragicly sad to see a beautiful young family affected by cancer, and I was overcome with emotion as I walked in, and had to take a moment. The benefit looked to be quite a success, and I am proud to say I am from Seward, as the community really comes together when one of their own is in need of help! I feel blessed to be a part of that.
Honestly, there is nothing better than paying it forward!
What am I thankful for!?! Being asked to help.
Thank you for 4 years of support!
Dear Friends and Family:
Looking back on 4 years of SURVIVORSHIP...of LIFE. My 4 year anniversary is a celebration of life, of potential, of hopes, perseverance, and of friendship! I hope that you read this BLOG and know that I THANK YOU for all that you have done for me over the last 4 years!
When I first heard that I had cancer, I was sad, but optimistic. Then, a week later, when I heard the extent of my cancer, I was terrified. I was scared to leave behind 2 children that had not had enough time to get to know me, and I was scared that I was going to let down my family and friends by leaving them too soon. I was not ready go…. Things were left undone…
I searched the Internet for treatments, diets, cleanses, and Hope. The statistics said I had only a 20% chance of living 5 years. So, I turned to God and I prayed for a miracle. I did a lot of soul searching, I started journals for my children, and I spent more time in front of the camera than behind it! I wanted to capture memories, thoughts, moments, wisdom and laughter for my children. I wanted them to know that finding peace and happiness, no matter what your circumstances, is the key to life. I wanted to teach them to laugh and show them how to smile!
Over the last 4 years, I feel like I have demonstrated this too them with the help of all of you! You all make me happy and you make me smile in your own special ways. The last 4 years have been no walk in the park. There have been very hard and very dark times for me along the way, but you all have gotten me through with a smile on my face….(most of the time)….and for that I am eternally grateful!
So now here we are, just one year from my 5 year mark…and do you know what I think?…I think I am going to blow it out of the water!!! 10 years….here I come!
Thank you for:
laughing with me*crying with me*holding my hand*saving my funny texts*sitting under a tree*saving second base*running the Komen*marker pimping*dancing like a rockstar*being patient with me*being a DAMA-MAMA or PAPA*letting me share my story*daring me*coloring my hair pink*surviving with me*being persistent*making me laugh*listening even when what I have to say is hard to hear*rekindling that old friendship*having faith in me*pushing me*videotaping my story(take 32)*letting me give you a piggyback ride*telling me that I am not too old to pierce my nose*wanting more for yourself and letting me help you get it*sharing my wigs and hats with me*e-mailing me*calling me even though you know I never answer*inviting me to dinner*fundraising with me*running next to me*running ahead of me in silent encouragement*inviting me into your family*letting me win*letting me walk*sharing your drink*buying me sushi*writing your “why I relay” stories*understanding me*pretending to when you don’t*forgiving me*never forgetting*sharing music*watching movies*swimming in the ocean*skinny-dipping in March*going to Disney*renting a limo*singing over me*letting me pick*giving me faith*finding Hope*stocking my freezer*threatening to put a bean up your nose to make me laugh*dancing in the rain*holding me*hugs and kisses*sharing your strength*knowing when to be silent*knowing when to scream*knowing when an inappropriate joke is appropriate*not letting me jump*taking my picture*sharing your story*rubbing my feet*sharing your candy bar*asking how I am*knowing when fine doesn’t mean fine* calling me adorable when clearly I am losing it*finding me $10,000*saving my hair*sitting with me at baseball games*making me feel like a part of the group*not making me sing Karaoke*coming to my party*being in my life*riding the mechanical bull*going on girls trips*helping me understand*helping me forget*letting me forgive*painting my nails*telling me when I have spinach in my teeth*hottubbing*being my FB friend*wearing pasties on the beach*sharing chapstick*loving me despite me*buying and sporting things with pink ribbons on them*using pink ribbon checks*leaving peanut butter twix on my desk when I am out*making me a journal*saving pictures of you and I*driving 8 hours for this party*visiting me*sitting in the driveway*scheduling your vacations with me*telling me when I am nuts, not stopping me*loving my children like your own*wearing pink awareness or LIVESTRONG bands*BEING A PART OF ME FOREVER!*
What am I thankful for?! YOU!
Looking back on 4 years of SURVIVORSHIP...of LIFE. My 4 year anniversary is a celebration of life, of potential, of hopes, perseverance, and of friendship! I hope that you read this BLOG and know that I THANK YOU for all that you have done for me over the last 4 years!
When I first heard that I had cancer, I was sad, but optimistic. Then, a week later, when I heard the extent of my cancer, I was terrified. I was scared to leave behind 2 children that had not had enough time to get to know me, and I was scared that I was going to let down my family and friends by leaving them too soon. I was not ready go…. Things were left undone…
I searched the Internet for treatments, diets, cleanses, and Hope. The statistics said I had only a 20% chance of living 5 years. So, I turned to God and I prayed for a miracle. I did a lot of soul searching, I started journals for my children, and I spent more time in front of the camera than behind it! I wanted to capture memories, thoughts, moments, wisdom and laughter for my children. I wanted them to know that finding peace and happiness, no matter what your circumstances, is the key to life. I wanted to teach them to laugh and show them how to smile!
Over the last 4 years, I feel like I have demonstrated this too them with the help of all of you! You all make me happy and you make me smile in your own special ways. The last 4 years have been no walk in the park. There have been very hard and very dark times for me along the way, but you all have gotten me through with a smile on my face….(most of the time)….and for that I am eternally grateful!
So now here we are, just one year from my 5 year mark…and do you know what I think?…I think I am going to blow it out of the water!!! 10 years….here I come!
Thank you for:
laughing with me*crying with me*holding my hand*saving my funny texts*sitting under a tree*saving second base*running the Komen*marker pimping*dancing like a rockstar*being patient with me*being a DAMA-MAMA or PAPA*letting me share my story*daring me*coloring my hair pink*surviving with me*being persistent*making me laugh*listening even when what I have to say is hard to hear*rekindling that old friendship*having faith in me*pushing me*videotaping my story(take 32)*letting me give you a piggyback ride*telling me that I am not too old to pierce my nose*wanting more for yourself and letting me help you get it*sharing my wigs and hats with me*e-mailing me*calling me even though you know I never answer*inviting me to dinner*fundraising with me*running next to me*running ahead of me in silent encouragement*inviting me into your family*letting me win*letting me walk*sharing your drink*buying me sushi*writing your “why I relay” stories*understanding me*pretending to when you don’t*forgiving me*never forgetting*sharing music*watching movies*swimming in the ocean*skinny-dipping in March*going to Disney*renting a limo*singing over me*letting me pick*giving me faith*finding Hope*stocking my freezer*threatening to put a bean up your nose to make me laugh*dancing in the rain*holding me*hugs and kisses*sharing your strength*knowing when to be silent*knowing when to scream*knowing when an inappropriate joke is appropriate*not letting me jump*taking my picture*sharing your story*rubbing my feet*sharing your candy bar*asking how I am*knowing when fine doesn’t mean fine* calling me adorable when clearly I am losing it*finding me $10,000*saving my hair*sitting with me at baseball games*making me feel like a part of the group*not making me sing Karaoke*coming to my party*being in my life*riding the mechanical bull*going on girls trips*helping me understand*helping me forget*letting me forgive*painting my nails*telling me when I have spinach in my teeth*hottubbing*being my FB friend*wearing pasties on the beach*sharing chapstick*loving me despite me*buying and sporting things with pink ribbons on them*using pink ribbon checks*leaving peanut butter twix on my desk when I am out*making me a journal*saving pictures of you and I*driving 8 hours for this party*visiting me*sitting in the driveway*scheduling your vacations with me*telling me when I am nuts, not stopping me*loving my children like your own*wearing pink awareness or LIVESTRONG bands*BEING A PART OF ME FOREVER!*
What am I thankful for?! YOU!
3.25.2009
I am a mess!
Well, I don't know what the deal is...is there more cancer out there? Do I just notice it more? Do people just come to me with questions more since I have it? I don't know, but right now it seems like the whole world is going to be consumed by cancer. (Not me of course, because the all knowing FB quiz said I was going to die in my 70's during a tragic stripper pole accident!)
This month alone....
I had a friend lose her stepmom to cancer,
I had a friend lose a friend to cancer,
and I watched in sorrow as my community lost a beautiful and courageous 4 year old little boy to cancer.
And, this month alone.....
I watch from afar as a fellow HOH restarts a difficult battle with the disease,
I arrange my schedule to synchronize my chemo treatments with the chemo treatments of a dear childhood friend,
I will attend a benefit for a local cancer fighter from my hometown,
I celebrated the life of a friend I lost to cancer, on her birthday, without her,
I talk almost daily to a mom who is distraught with the grief of having a son-in-law with cancer and the effects it has on the whole young family,
and daily I gulp down sleeping pills and painkillers to try and continue life as usual with rib pain due to my own damn cancer.
And then, after all of that, people have the nerve to say to me, "why do you do relay?", "don't you have enough on your plate?".....
I can't think of one reason why I shouldn't do relay. I don't know how I could sleep at night, knowing what I know, and feeling how I feel and not do relay. I don't know if I could ever forgive myself for not trying to fight back against this disease! I have lost too much....I will lose too much in the future....and every second I doubt my strength to go on, I vow to put one more dollar into the pot.
One more dollar to help others go on.
One more dollar towards research to cure a disease that takes kids, and moms, and dads....sisters....brothers...beloved friends....
One more dollar to help a young lady learn how to paint on eyebrows and feel pretty so that she maintains the self-esteem needed to keep fighting for her life.
How could I sleep?......
What am I thankful for?!
The will, and the ability, to FIGHT BACK!
This month alone....
I had a friend lose her stepmom to cancer,
I had a friend lose a friend to cancer,
and I watched in sorrow as my community lost a beautiful and courageous 4 year old little boy to cancer.
And, this month alone.....
I watch from afar as a fellow HOH restarts a difficult battle with the disease,
I arrange my schedule to synchronize my chemo treatments with the chemo treatments of a dear childhood friend,
I will attend a benefit for a local cancer fighter from my hometown,
I celebrated the life of a friend I lost to cancer, on her birthday, without her,
I talk almost daily to a mom who is distraught with the grief of having a son-in-law with cancer and the effects it has on the whole young family,
and daily I gulp down sleeping pills and painkillers to try and continue life as usual with rib pain due to my own damn cancer.
And then, after all of that, people have the nerve to say to me, "why do you do relay?", "don't you have enough on your plate?".....
I can't think of one reason why I shouldn't do relay. I don't know how I could sleep at night, knowing what I know, and feeling how I feel and not do relay. I don't know if I could ever forgive myself for not trying to fight back against this disease! I have lost too much....I will lose too much in the future....and every second I doubt my strength to go on, I vow to put one more dollar into the pot.
One more dollar to help others go on.
One more dollar towards research to cure a disease that takes kids, and moms, and dads....sisters....brothers...beloved friends....
One more dollar to help a young lady learn how to paint on eyebrows and feel pretty so that she maintains the self-esteem needed to keep fighting for her life.
How could I sleep?......
What am I thankful for?!
The will, and the ability, to FIGHT BACK!
2.26.2009
Results!
No changes! It's all good!!!
What am I thankful for?!
The warm-ish weather we have had the last couple of days!
What am I thankful for?!
The warm-ish weather we have had the last couple of days!
2.24.2009
Tests
Tomorrow I am having an MRI of my spine and rib x-rays due to increased pain over the last month or two. Here is to hoping it is just muscle tension.
The doctor said they would get the test results ASAP, so I should be able to BLOG my results tomorrow night.
Happy FAT TUESDAY to you all!
What am I thankful for?!
My two amazing children! They are the light of my life!
The doctor said they would get the test results ASAP, so I should be able to BLOG my results tomorrow night.
Happy FAT TUESDAY to you all!
What am I thankful for?!
My two amazing children! They are the light of my life!
2.07.2009
February already?!?!
I have been so crazy lately with the holidays, my computer being down for 3 weeks and my surgeries! I ended up with one more surgery at the beginning of this year to repair my hysterectomy. My stitches dissolved before my body was able to heal. Bummer. I am two weeks or so out from that, and so far so good!
Relay meetings are in full swing now, so I have our website up and going. I am excited about that. Perseverance Rocks! I am on the executive committee for our relay, I am a team captain again, and I am on a divisional work group for the Heroes of Hope program! I get to go to Dallas this month for the HOH workgroup. I work with such amazing people through relay. It is amazing what the ACS is able to do. They have a large and dedicated volunteer base! It is amazing the amount of work they convince us to do for free! LOL We all have our reasons! And most of us have MANY reasons!
What am I thankful for?! Optimism (no matter what).
Relay meetings are in full swing now, so I have our website up and going. I am excited about that. Perseverance Rocks! I am on the executive committee for our relay, I am a team captain again, and I am on a divisional work group for the Heroes of Hope program! I get to go to Dallas this month for the HOH workgroup. I work with such amazing people through relay. It is amazing what the ACS is able to do. They have a large and dedicated volunteer base! It is amazing the amount of work they convince us to do for free! LOL We all have our reasons! And most of us have MANY reasons!
What am I thankful for?! Optimism (no matter what).
12.17.2008
BAD NEWS!
At 10pm I ran out of Rocky Road ice cream!
Good news, cookies and cream ice cream doesn't suck. I put a hurtin' on that at 3am when I let the dog out to potty! I have to go back to work before I need to order a larger office chair! Can someone go into my office and measure the width of my chair? I need to know how close I am getting! Just comment back, and let me know!
What am I thankful for?!
Cymbalta! If you are crazy too, you will know what I mean!
Good news, cookies and cream ice cream doesn't suck. I put a hurtin' on that at 3am when I let the dog out to potty! I have to go back to work before I need to order a larger office chair! Can someone go into my office and measure the width of my chair? I need to know how close I am getting! Just comment back, and let me know!
What am I thankful for?!
Cymbalta! If you are crazy too, you will know what I mean!
12.15.2008
Recovering
So, I decided that I don't make a very good patient, because all I do is pout around about all the things I should be doing. I am trying to watch the movies that Dan brought me to keep me occupied, but I keep pausing the movie to do things, like straighten things in the living room, and since I am not supposed to lift much, I made 20 trips to the washer to put clothes in piece by piece! I can't watch a movie knowing that a pile of dirt clothes is just sitting there!
I also realized that I am addicted to ice cream! That was the first thing I ate in the hospital after my fasting for surgery, and now I can't seem to stop eating it! Rocky Road is my favorite at the moment, and the worst so far is Birthday Cake Ice Cream. It is way too sweet!
A friend of mine also brought over homemade tacos for the whole family on my first night home, and a get well kit with all the necessities, like flashy earrings, holiday bangles, colored lip shimmer, a fancy red clutch, crazy knee-high socks, a monkey game....what more could a girl want? I am glammed out for my trip from the bed to the bathroom!
The kids have been keeping close tabs on me, and they love the fact that they are getting ice cream before bed every night! Skye loves to help, so he took the bandaides off my stomach last night so I could shower. I have 5 small incisions on my belly where the went in with the robot and camera to look around. The figured that since they were going to have me under anesthesia anyway, they might as well take a look around an see what is going on in there with their own eyes! My gyn oncologist is Dr. Morris, and he is GREAT! He said that they did not see any cancer anywhere with the camera. He said that pathology would look at everything they took out and get back to me in about a week. That was good news!
I am ultra bummed for my friend Tracy. She just shaved her head. Her hair is falling out from the chemo. For goodness sake it is 7 degrees out!!! She will get good use out of the Packers stocking cap! Lucky for her she is blessed with a nice head and cute little ears! If you are a girl, or even you guys, give a little thanks for your hair. You don't think about how much you use it to define you until it falls out. And in most situations it falls out in the middle of a life trauma....cancer. Cancer not only beats you up on the inside and threatens your life, but at the same time it puts a major strain on your self-esteem with the hair loss, acne, weight gain from steroids (or eating too much ice cream), and some people even lose their finger and toe nails. Not only do you have to live, but you have to know that you are worth fighting for even though you feel like crap! Tracy P, I know you are worth fighting for, and I know that you know it too! You are lucky to have a great support network, including a hubby who loves your bald little head, because it is a part of you now, and...your hair might affect your looks, but it doesn't affect who you are, and you are BEAUTIFUL!
Well, I better get going, I gotta unpause that movie. At this rate it will take me 3 weeks to watch it.
What am I thankful for?!
For my hair. For the drugs that are making Tracy better. For Rocky Road ice cream.
I also realized that I am addicted to ice cream! That was the first thing I ate in the hospital after my fasting for surgery, and now I can't seem to stop eating it! Rocky Road is my favorite at the moment, and the worst so far is Birthday Cake Ice Cream. It is way too sweet!
A friend of mine also brought over homemade tacos for the whole family on my first night home, and a get well kit with all the necessities, like flashy earrings, holiday bangles, colored lip shimmer, a fancy red clutch, crazy knee-high socks, a monkey game....what more could a girl want? I am glammed out for my trip from the bed to the bathroom!
The kids have been keeping close tabs on me, and they love the fact that they are getting ice cream before bed every night! Skye loves to help, so he took the bandaides off my stomach last night so I could shower. I have 5 small incisions on my belly where the went in with the robot and camera to look around. The figured that since they were going to have me under anesthesia anyway, they might as well take a look around an see what is going on in there with their own eyes! My gyn oncologist is Dr. Morris, and he is GREAT! He said that they did not see any cancer anywhere with the camera. He said that pathology would look at everything they took out and get back to me in about a week. That was good news!
I am ultra bummed for my friend Tracy. She just shaved her head. Her hair is falling out from the chemo. For goodness sake it is 7 degrees out!!! She will get good use out of the Packers stocking cap! Lucky for her she is blessed with a nice head and cute little ears! If you are a girl, or even you guys, give a little thanks for your hair. You don't think about how much you use it to define you until it falls out. And in most situations it falls out in the middle of a life trauma....cancer. Cancer not only beats you up on the inside and threatens your life, but at the same time it puts a major strain on your self-esteem with the hair loss, acne, weight gain from steroids (or eating too much ice cream), and some people even lose their finger and toe nails. Not only do you have to live, but you have to know that you are worth fighting for even though you feel like crap! Tracy P, I know you are worth fighting for, and I know that you know it too! You are lucky to have a great support network, including a hubby who loves your bald little head, because it is a part of you now, and...your hair might affect your looks, but it doesn't affect who you are, and you are BEAUTIFUL!
Well, I better get going, I gotta unpause that movie. At this rate it will take me 3 weeks to watch it.
What am I thankful for?!
For my hair. For the drugs that are making Tracy better. For Rocky Road ice cream.
12.08.2008
New look!
Well, I spent all my time updating my BLOG to the new template that I don't really have time to type much! I tried forever to move my site counter up higher, but can't seem to figure it out, so that is now all the way down at the bottom, is anyone cares. It is a little off, but with that many hits, who can keep track anyway?! =)
I am all recovered-ish from my colorectal surgery, and I start a clear liquid diet tomorrow along with a two day colon cleanse beginning on Wednesday, all in preparation for Friday's hysterectomy. I don't anticipate any problems with this surgery either. I can't tell you how excited I am for the fasting and prepping, but in preparation of the preparation I ate M&M's, pop tarts, Jimmy John's, and a taco salad as big as my head and right now I am just finishing up a Coors Light. One couldn't hurt, right?! Surely not after the Dancing Queen show I put on Friday night during a night out with the girls to the local gay bar! They always have the best dancing at those gay bars! Well, except when I go, I ugly it up tall, blond, white girl style! Oh dear! Real friends would not have let me dance with my scarf swirling overhead! (You know who you are!)
Hope everyone is doing well! And recovering from all that turkey!
What am I thankful for?!
The ability to take one day at a time. I am also thankful for Tracy's drive down memory lane! It is good to do that ever now and then.
I am all recovered-ish from my colorectal surgery, and I start a clear liquid diet tomorrow along with a two day colon cleanse beginning on Wednesday, all in preparation for Friday's hysterectomy. I don't anticipate any problems with this surgery either. I can't tell you how excited I am for the fasting and prepping, but in preparation of the preparation I ate M&M's, pop tarts, Jimmy John's, and a taco salad as big as my head and right now I am just finishing up a Coors Light. One couldn't hurt, right?! Surely not after the Dancing Queen show I put on Friday night during a night out with the girls to the local gay bar! They always have the best dancing at those gay bars! Well, except when I go, I ugly it up tall, blond, white girl style! Oh dear! Real friends would not have let me dance with my scarf swirling overhead! (You know who you are!)
Hope everyone is doing well! And recovering from all that turkey!
What am I thankful for?!
The ability to take one day at a time. I am also thankful for Tracy's drive down memory lane! It is good to do that ever now and then.
11.25.2008
Sad news!
Well, since she has started a BLOG, I think it is safe to pass on to you that one of my best friends, going way back, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. This is sad news for me, and even more sad news for her. I hate the idea of anyone going through this, especially a dear friend!
I found out on my way home from our Dominican trip. I cried all the way through the airport and lit up everyone's phones until I got ahold of someone who could give me more information.
I hope that she knows that I would and WILL do anything in the world for her!
If you would like to check out Tracy's blog, here is the address- http://mynewreality-tracy.blogspot.com/
Keep her in your thoughts and prayers! I know I have wonderful people looking after me, and I hope that you will include her. In high school we were never referred to alone, we were always The Tracy's or The Blondie's! Now we are The little Miss Cancer Pants'! Some things I wish we didn't have to share.
What am I thankful for?!
I am thankful that her cancer did not spread to her lymphnodes and beyond! She is going to kick cancers butt!
I found out on my way home from our Dominican trip. I cried all the way through the airport and lit up everyone's phones until I got ahold of someone who could give me more information.
I hope that she knows that I would and WILL do anything in the world for her!
If you would like to check out Tracy's blog, here is the address- http://mynewreality-tracy.blogspot.com/
Keep her in your thoughts and prayers! I know I have wonderful people looking after me, and I hope that you will include her. In high school we were never referred to alone, we were always The Tracy's or The Blondie's! Now we are The little Miss Cancer Pants'! Some things I wish we didn't have to share.
What am I thankful for?!
I am thankful that her cancer did not spread to her lymphnodes and beyond! She is going to kick cancers butt!
11.22.2008
Here come the Holidays!
Seems like I spend a good share of time thinking about medical things during the holidays.
The kiddos and I are going to spend Thanksgiving with my Grandparents and mom in Branson MO. The last few years Dan and I have been going seperate ways over thanksgiving in order to see our own families, and the kids have been going with him. This year they are going to go with me. Their great Grandma and Grandpa Leff are so excited that they are coming to visit, and my mom is already on her way to Branson. Dan is going to spend the holiday with his family and that totally incredibly cute little niece, Zoey! She is the highlight of the holidays.
After our trip to Branson I will be out of commission for a little bit. The first week in December I am having some non-cancerous growths removed from my colon and the second week in December I am having a hysterectomy. Yippie!
Then it will be Christmas and on to the New Year....
What am I thankful for?!
HOPE.
The kiddos and I are going to spend Thanksgiving with my Grandparents and mom in Branson MO. The last few years Dan and I have been going seperate ways over thanksgiving in order to see our own families, and the kids have been going with him. This year they are going to go with me. Their great Grandma and Grandpa Leff are so excited that they are coming to visit, and my mom is already on her way to Branson. Dan is going to spend the holiday with his family and that totally incredibly cute little niece, Zoey! She is the highlight of the holidays.
After our trip to Branson I will be out of commission for a little bit. The first week in December I am having some non-cancerous growths removed from my colon and the second week in December I am having a hysterectomy. Yippie!
Then it will be Christmas and on to the New Year....
What am I thankful for?!
HOPE.
11.11.2008
Scan Results
Everything looks stable according to my scans. The only definate cancer is in my right seventh rib, which is completely replaced with tumor, but still not really bothering me much, and then some tiny, questional spots at T3, T8, and T11 of my spine.
So... I consider this another win for me!
What am I thankful for?!?!
The doctors that are taking such good care of me now. And everyone at Midwest Cancer Imaging Center, for making scan day fun, not stressful! You all rock! See you in 3 weeks for my MUGA!
So... I consider this another win for me!
What am I thankful for?!?!
The doctors that are taking such good care of me now. And everyone at Midwest Cancer Imaging Center, for making scan day fun, not stressful! You all rock! See you in 3 weeks for my MUGA!
10.20.2008
Days go by....
It has been awhile since I have last typed a BLOG. My friend in hospice passed away, and time went on. My kids started 4th and 1st grade, and time went on. Michelle and I went to Dallas and received an award on behalf of team Perseverance, and time went on.
My latest news is that I am headed to the Dominican Republic with Dan and some friends on vacation. The sun and sand should be nice!!!
I had treatment today, and because of some worsening anemia and constant fatigue, I will be having an upper GI and a colonoscopy this Thursday. The week we get back from vacation I will be going back in for CT scans! Everything always happens at once, and then......time goes on.
What am I thankful for?!
The opportunity to go to the beach. I am very thankful for that! I know that it is a luxury. Each day I have should be considered a luxury.
My latest news is that I am headed to the Dominican Republic with Dan and some friends on vacation. The sun and sand should be nice!!!
I had treatment today, and because of some worsening anemia and constant fatigue, I will be having an upper GI and a colonoscopy this Thursday. The week we get back from vacation I will be going back in for CT scans! Everything always happens at once, and then......time goes on.
What am I thankful for?!
The opportunity to go to the beach. I am very thankful for that! I know that it is a luxury. Each day I have should be considered a luxury.
8.21.2008
One of my ACS video's and my e-mail address
Well, I knew that it would happen sometime, but a video of me is now on the www! Here is the address if you want to check it out: www.sharinghope.tv/video/2050485
Also, I have gotten a lot of requests for my e-mail address, because several people want to be able to correspond with me without it being posted on my BLOG for everyone in cyberspace to read. So...my address is tmarymoon@gmail.com. Please e-mail me with any comments or questions you may have, and I will try to respond as quickly as possible!
Mean people need not e-mail!
What am I thankful for?!
Friends that I haven't seen forever! And...video editors that make me look better at this stuff than I really am!
Drew- I hope your mom is doing well! I had no idea she was a BC survivor. And, your father-in-law will be in my thoughts!
Also, I have gotten a lot of requests for my e-mail address, because several people want to be able to correspond with me without it being posted on my BLOG for everyone in cyberspace to read. So...my address is tmarymoon@gmail.com. Please e-mail me with any comments or questions you may have, and I will try to respond as quickly as possible!
Mean people need not e-mail!
What am I thankful for?!
Friends that I haven't seen forever! And...video editors that make me look better at this stuff than I really am!
Drew- I hope your mom is doing well! I had no idea she was a BC survivor. And, your father-in-law will be in my thoughts!
8.14.2008
And....
....another shining star goes on hospice....hearts break.
What am I thankful for?!
Sometimes it is hard to be thankful during hard times, but I guess I am thankful for hospice nurses. They must have hearts of gold to be able to care for people during such emotionally and physically difficult times. I am reading a book called "Glimpses of Heaven" by Trudy Harris, RN. She was a hospice nurse and tells stories of peoples last days/minutes here on Earth. It is very spiritual and makes me less fearful of death.
8.03.2008
Relay is over. Now what?
It has been so busy that I haven't had any time to type. Relay was an amazing success! Our $35000 fundraising goal was blown out of the water....the money tallying is not yet complete by the ACS, but it looks like we might have reached $50000!!!!!! That is so unbelievable to me. I don't think I have quite grasped it yet! Much thanks to the Brunings, the Dominators, my DDS'ers, and team Perseverance!!!! Wow, each year Relay has gotten bigger and bigger! It is such an emotional night to end all the FUN-draising chaos!
During the opening ceremonies we had 11 team members receive $1000+ fundraising t-shirts! How amazing is that! Team Perseverance is made up of ROCKSTARS! Then I got to accept a check for $10000 from WalMart! They helped us SAVE OUR HAIR! How great is that! It was crazy! They gave me one of those huge-mongous checks, like publishers clearinghouse! How fun was that! I cried on the poor man's shoulder! I am sure he was wondering what kind of nut I was. How amazing! That money will help so many people right here in Nebraska!
The luminary ceremony was emotional as always, but I was so busy that I didnt have time to get the luminaries from my parents and my kiddos together and was so worried that I wouldn't get them lit before other people started lighting them. It worked out, but I was tired, and I think it was just all so emotional that I was not handling things very well. Also, this year was extra hard because I just lost Kim this year, our friend Jason started chemo, my friend from work is struggling with her treatments, and my friend Katy just lost her sister in May. We thought Katy's sister would be here this year to walk with us, but I guess a higher power had different plans for her. It was a rough night for her family, and my heart ached for them.
I shared speaking duties with my friend Eric this year in our Fight Back ceremony which was held RIGHT after the luminaries. So, in my emotional state I hear the announcement over the loud speakers that the Fight Back Ceremony would be starting in a matter of minutes, and I just couldn't pull it together that fast. Eric has also been through a lot this year, and adding those emotions to the emotions I was already having just sent me over the edge. I cried through the whole thing! CANCER IS JUST NOT FAIR! The rest of the night I just tried to zone out and when the sun rose in the morning we all headed home and went to bed.
The last few days following Relay have been hard. I found myself sitting in the cemetary crying, and not being able to stop. I had spent the last year speaking at Relay events and the last 6 months fundraising. I did it in all the free time that I had. I wanted to make a difference, and I was working hard at it. Cancer hit my friends over and over throughout the year, and I was doing everything I could do to fight back. But when Relay was all said and done, and the money was turned in, I felt an immense sense of saddness.....all that work and my friends that cancer had taken were still gone, and my sick friends were still sick, and I still had to go to chemo on Monday morning. I should have felt such joy in all that we had accomplished! I should have been excited, but I couldn't help just feeling sad that we still do not have a cure. But I have no doubt that we will be one step closer and that many, many cancer patients will benefit from the many services that the ACS provides. I am trying to focus on that......
What am I thankful for?!
Sunny days, candlelight, and Hope for the future.
During the opening ceremonies we had 11 team members receive $1000+ fundraising t-shirts! How amazing is that! Team Perseverance is made up of ROCKSTARS! Then I got to accept a check for $10000 from WalMart! They helped us SAVE OUR HAIR! How great is that! It was crazy! They gave me one of those huge-mongous checks, like publishers clearinghouse! How fun was that! I cried on the poor man's shoulder! I am sure he was wondering what kind of nut I was. How amazing! That money will help so many people right here in Nebraska!
The luminary ceremony was emotional as always, but I was so busy that I didnt have time to get the luminaries from my parents and my kiddos together and was so worried that I wouldn't get them lit before other people started lighting them. It worked out, but I was tired, and I think it was just all so emotional that I was not handling things very well. Also, this year was extra hard because I just lost Kim this year, our friend Jason started chemo, my friend from work is struggling with her treatments, and my friend Katy just lost her sister in May. We thought Katy's sister would be here this year to walk with us, but I guess a higher power had different plans for her. It was a rough night for her family, and my heart ached for them.
I shared speaking duties with my friend Eric this year in our Fight Back ceremony which was held RIGHT after the luminaries. So, in my emotional state I hear the announcement over the loud speakers that the Fight Back Ceremony would be starting in a matter of minutes, and I just couldn't pull it together that fast. Eric has also been through a lot this year, and adding those emotions to the emotions I was already having just sent me over the edge. I cried through the whole thing! CANCER IS JUST NOT FAIR! The rest of the night I just tried to zone out and when the sun rose in the morning we all headed home and went to bed.
The last few days following Relay have been hard. I found myself sitting in the cemetary crying, and not being able to stop. I had spent the last year speaking at Relay events and the last 6 months fundraising. I did it in all the free time that I had. I wanted to make a difference, and I was working hard at it. Cancer hit my friends over and over throughout the year, and I was doing everything I could do to fight back. But when Relay was all said and done, and the money was turned in, I felt an immense sense of saddness.....all that work and my friends that cancer had taken were still gone, and my sick friends were still sick, and I still had to go to chemo on Monday morning. I should have felt such joy in all that we had accomplished! I should have been excited, but I couldn't help just feeling sad that we still do not have a cure. But I have no doubt that we will be one step closer and that many, many cancer patients will benefit from the many services that the ACS provides. I am trying to focus on that......
What am I thankful for?!
Sunny days, candlelight, and Hope for the future.
6.19.2008
I relay....
I relay …
I started to relay because my kids were 2 and 5 years old, and I thought their mommy was dying. I was desperate to do anything that might lead to a cure or at the very least… stall the inevitable.
I continued to relay because I became a part of a community that I understood and loved and who understood and loved me. It didn’t matter if I was sad, mad, scared, excited, nervous, confused or apprehensive. They always understood, and never said, “Don’t think like that”. They understood that when you face cancer, there is nothing you don’t think about.
I relay today because when I was diagnosed I knew no one who had cancer, and since that time I have had many friends diagnosed with cancer and three who have already died.
I relay today because I have more things left to see and do.
I relay today because I am tired of going to the cemetery to talk to the one friend who might REALLY know how I feel.
I relay today because I can’t hear her answers to the questions I am asking. I relay today because her children drop off her mother’s day gifts at the cemetery.
I relay today because I refuse to believe that this is how it is meant to be.
I will relay tomorrow because I don’t give up.
I will relay tomorrow because there has to be a reason why I am still here and my friends are not, and I don’t yet know what that reason is.
I will relay tomorrow because I have friends that aren’t yet cured.
I will relay tomorrow because the memories of those that have gone before me are never to be forgotten and should be honored to the fullest.
I will relay tomorrow because I don’t want my children or your children to die from cancer.
I will relay tomorrow because Relay has given me so much and I want to give back.
I will relay tomorrow because…I love you.
What am I thankful for?!
The Dama-mamas, my friends (some here, and some playing supporting roles in other states), my coworkers, my ACSers, my family, my husband, and MY CHILDREN...oh, and you too, Taz!
I started to relay because my kids were 2 and 5 years old, and I thought their mommy was dying. I was desperate to do anything that might lead to a cure or at the very least… stall the inevitable.
I continued to relay because I became a part of a community that I understood and loved and who understood and loved me. It didn’t matter if I was sad, mad, scared, excited, nervous, confused or apprehensive. They always understood, and never said, “Don’t think like that”. They understood that when you face cancer, there is nothing you don’t think about.
I relay today because when I was diagnosed I knew no one who had cancer, and since that time I have had many friends diagnosed with cancer and three who have already died.
I relay today because I have more things left to see and do.
I relay today because I am tired of going to the cemetery to talk to the one friend who might REALLY know how I feel.
I relay today because I can’t hear her answers to the questions I am asking. I relay today because her children drop off her mother’s day gifts at the cemetery.
I relay today because I refuse to believe that this is how it is meant to be.
I will relay tomorrow because I don’t give up.
I will relay tomorrow because there has to be a reason why I am still here and my friends are not, and I don’t yet know what that reason is.
I will relay tomorrow because I have friends that aren’t yet cured.
I will relay tomorrow because the memories of those that have gone before me are never to be forgotten and should be honored to the fullest.
I will relay tomorrow because I don’t want my children or your children to die from cancer.
I will relay tomorrow because Relay has given me so much and I want to give back.
I will relay tomorrow because…I love you.
What am I thankful for?!
The Dama-mamas, my friends (some here, and some playing supporting roles in other states), my coworkers, my ACSers, my family, my husband, and MY CHILDREN...oh, and you too, Taz!
6.18.2008
6.08.2008
Summer is a busy time
Well, it is a busy time of the year! We have had more baseball games than I can count, and the kids are happy to finally be playing outside again....and so am I! I have been doing some speaking still for Relay, and just had to have my chemo port replaced this last week.
This coming Friday I have scans again and will get my results the following Monday. YES....I am aware that I said I was never going to wait for scan results over a weekend again, but that is the only time they could do them! I have a busy weekend, so I don't think I will have time to worry about them anyway.
What am I thankful for?!
Time with my children!
This coming Friday I have scans again and will get my results the following Monday. YES....I am aware that I said I was never going to wait for scan results over a weekend again, but that is the only time they could do them! I have a busy weekend, so I don't think I will have time to worry about them anyway.
What am I thankful for?!
Time with my children!
5.07.2008
A Letter to my Medical Providers
May 7, 2008
To my Outstanding Medical Providers,
A little over three years ago I began a journey towards living….because, little to my knowledge and little to the knowledge of those around me I was dying. Dying wasn't painful, it wasn't scary, as a matter of fact, it was easy.
What isn't easy? Living isn't easy. It is hard work. It takes will. And, a lot of the time it hurts. It hurt in my bones, it hurt in my heart, and it hurt to the bottom of my soul.
I went through MRIs, CT scans, PET scans, x-rays, 2 port surgeries, 6 rounds of chemotherapy, radiation to my spine, a mastectomy, and even a few highly encouraged counseling sessions.
I saw people come and go at chemotherapy, older people and younger people. I saw people cry when they got good results and cry when they got bad results. I saw people come in for one, two, and ten year follow-ups and be disease free. I saw families bring in food to the doctors and nurses who cared for their love ones up until they slipped away.
I learned that nothing in life is guaranteed and I learned that if you want something bad enough, you damn well better work for it.
I learned that life is too short to waste your time worrying about things that don't matter.
I learned that you need to embrace the good things in your life and try to rid your life of the toxic things that cloud your existance. And, I learned that 100 percent of the time this is easier said than done.
I learned that you can not run away from cancer, but trying sure makes you feel better.
I learned that if you are just crazy enough you can run 13.1 miles on a treadmill at the gym and it is healing on the mind and hard on the knees!
I learned that if you are lucky enough to have great family and friends they will applaud you for your acheivements and some will even rub your feet!
Most of all, I learned that strength and courage has to come from within. It can not be given to us by others, but the will to seek that strength within can be found when looking into the eyes of your children, or your parents, or your spouse, or a friend.
When I was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer, I felt like I had lost control over the only thing I felt like I was in control of- I felt as though I had lost control of my body. In a world where I often felt so out of control, at least I had control over my body. At the point of diagnosis, I felt that little piece of security melting away.
So, as I was going through my cancer treatments I thought about ways that I could gain that feeling of control back. Logically, or not, I went straight to the idea of running a half-marathon. I thought that if I could propel my body 13.1 miles, then I was in control!
I began training. I started out at one mile a day on a treadmill. Then I moved to 2, 4, 5, 8, and 10 mile runs on the treadmill. One time I even ran 13.1 miles on the treadmill. As it got warmer I moved my training outside and made it all the way up to an 11 mile trail run. I was set to run my marathon!
One and a half weeks before my marathon is when I found out that YOU CAN NOT RUN AWAY FROM CANCER. That is when I found out that what I thought was back spasms was really metastatic cancer in my spine. The pain made it impossible for me to run the marathon I had trained so hard for. And, cancer proved once again that I was not in control.
On the day before that 2006 marathon I went to the runners expo and picket up my race packet. I turned in my chip timer and took home the bib number that I was not going to be wearing. I cried on my way out of the expo and several other times throughout the next week. Then I started radiation to my spine and was once again content with my plan of treatment and set my sights on finishing a different kind of marathon. Radiation. Daily. 5-6 weeks.
After radiation was done and my energy started to return I started running again. My body was fatigued, but I was determined. Then came the compression fracture in my spine with vertebroplasty and a mastectomy. I won’t lie to you. Those were hard, and my spirits were down, and I decided that the 2007 marathon was not going to be in the cards for me either. The day of the 2007 marathon I did not leave the house. It was too painful to see all those people out doing what I so desperately wanted to do! I was crushed and I felt like I was losing.
Days went by, then weeks. Scan after blessed scan showed no progression of my cancer. I began to feel stronger and stronger. In November of 2007 I began training again! First I trained on the treadmill, but soon I opted for all outdoor runs. The runs were going well and I was running up to 8 miles at a time. Then came the knee pain. But I was going to run through it. If it couldn’t kill me, then I was going to run. I was NOT going to let another Lincoln marathon come and go without being a part of it.
As the pain continued I began to think that my training might be hurting me more than it was helping me. So, I went to the doctor to make sure that cancer was not playing a role in my training again. X-rays were taken, and my knee and bones looked strong, with no sign of cancer. I was relieved! I continued to run. Again, I wondered if I was doing the right thing by running through the pain. So, I had an MRI done of the knee. The MRI also showed that my knee was in good condition. So, I started physical therapy and continued with my weekly to daily chiropractic and acupuncture treatments. There was some question as to why I continued to run through the pain, but everyone soon learned that they were not going to convince me otherwise.
I reduced my running distance and frequency substantially, but I never gave up hope. I was going to be in control and I refused to believe differently.
In January 2008 I had what would be my last set of scans before the marathon. I was so nervous. I searched the internet for other marthons in the country that I could go run at a moments notice, because if my cancer was spreading, I was not going to start treatment until I ran 13.1 miles. Somewhere. Anywhere.
The scan results came back after a LONG weekend of waiting. But it was worth the wait! No progression! So, in March 2008 I signed up for the marthon and paid my fee. I ran a few times, here and there, but it took so much time for my knee to feel good again, after a run, that I didn’t run much.
On May 3, 2008 I went down to the runners expo, picked up my chip timer and my bib number and I headed to my doctors office for one last adjustment and a little acupuncture before the big day.
On May 4, 2008 I started, ran, and COMPLETED the 2008 National Guard ½ Marathon in Lincoln Nebraska! It was a monumental moment in my life, and I did it with my husband, children, and parents watching, and my friends by my side! And, at the finishline, I threw my prosthetic breast in the air. Because I had just proved, if to no one other than myself, that you can complete a ½ Marathon with one breast, cement in your spine, and cancer in your rib!
Been there! Done that! Got the t-shirt!
Thanks for all that you do!
Love,
Tracy
“Attitude is everything!”
WHAT AM I THANKFUL FOR?!?! The opportunity to send this letter out to all those people that have taken such good care of me and helped me to my goal! LOVE AND RESPECT! I am also thankful for all the people that cheered us on at the marathon and handed out water!!! A special thanks to the people with ICE!!! (As you may have noticed, some of this BLOG was a repeat from a previous blog for the benefit of my medical providers, but gawd knows it was worth repeating!)
To my Outstanding Medical Providers,
A little over three years ago I began a journey towards living….because, little to my knowledge and little to the knowledge of those around me I was dying. Dying wasn't painful, it wasn't scary, as a matter of fact, it was easy.
What isn't easy? Living isn't easy. It is hard work. It takes will. And, a lot of the time it hurts. It hurt in my bones, it hurt in my heart, and it hurt to the bottom of my soul.
I went through MRIs, CT scans, PET scans, x-rays, 2 port surgeries, 6 rounds of chemotherapy, radiation to my spine, a mastectomy, and even a few highly encouraged counseling sessions.
I saw people come and go at chemotherapy, older people and younger people. I saw people cry when they got good results and cry when they got bad results. I saw people come in for one, two, and ten year follow-ups and be disease free. I saw families bring in food to the doctors and nurses who cared for their love ones up until they slipped away.
I learned that nothing in life is guaranteed and I learned that if you want something bad enough, you damn well better work for it.
I learned that life is too short to waste your time worrying about things that don't matter.
I learned that you need to embrace the good things in your life and try to rid your life of the toxic things that cloud your existance. And, I learned that 100 percent of the time this is easier said than done.
I learned that you can not run away from cancer, but trying sure makes you feel better.
I learned that if you are just crazy enough you can run 13.1 miles on a treadmill at the gym and it is healing on the mind and hard on the knees!
I learned that if you are lucky enough to have great family and friends they will applaud you for your acheivements and some will even rub your feet!
Most of all, I learned that strength and courage has to come from within. It can not be given to us by others, but the will to seek that strength within can be found when looking into the eyes of your children, or your parents, or your spouse, or a friend.
When I was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer, I felt like I had lost control over the only thing I felt like I was in control of- I felt as though I had lost control of my body. In a world where I often felt so out of control, at least I had control over my body. At the point of diagnosis, I felt that little piece of security melting away.
So, as I was going through my cancer treatments I thought about ways that I could gain that feeling of control back. Logically, or not, I went straight to the idea of running a half-marathon. I thought that if I could propel my body 13.1 miles, then I was in control!
I began training. I started out at one mile a day on a treadmill. Then I moved to 2, 4, 5, 8, and 10 mile runs on the treadmill. One time I even ran 13.1 miles on the treadmill. As it got warmer I moved my training outside and made it all the way up to an 11 mile trail run. I was set to run my marathon!
One and a half weeks before my marathon is when I found out that YOU CAN NOT RUN AWAY FROM CANCER. That is when I found out that what I thought was back spasms was really metastatic cancer in my spine. The pain made it impossible for me to run the marathon I had trained so hard for. And, cancer proved once again that I was not in control.
On the day before that 2006 marathon I went to the runners expo and picket up my race packet. I turned in my chip timer and took home the bib number that I was not going to be wearing. I cried on my way out of the expo and several other times throughout the next week. Then I started radiation to my spine and was once again content with my plan of treatment and set my sights on finishing a different kind of marathon. Radiation. Daily. 5-6 weeks.
After radiation was done and my energy started to return I started running again. My body was fatigued, but I was determined. Then came the compression fracture in my spine with vertebroplasty and a mastectomy. I won’t lie to you. Those were hard, and my spirits were down, and I decided that the 2007 marathon was not going to be in the cards for me either. The day of the 2007 marathon I did not leave the house. It was too painful to see all those people out doing what I so desperately wanted to do! I was crushed and I felt like I was losing.
Days went by, then weeks. Scan after blessed scan showed no progression of my cancer. I began to feel stronger and stronger. In November of 2007 I began training again! First I trained on the treadmill, but soon I opted for all outdoor runs. The runs were going well and I was running up to 8 miles at a time. Then came the knee pain. But I was going to run through it. If it couldn’t kill me, then I was going to run. I was NOT going to let another Lincoln marathon come and go without being a part of it.
As the pain continued I began to think that my training might be hurting me more than it was helping me. So, I went to the doctor to make sure that cancer was not playing a role in my training again. X-rays were taken, and my knee and bones looked strong, with no sign of cancer. I was relieved! I continued to run. Again, I wondered if I was doing the right thing by running through the pain. So, I had an MRI done of the knee. The MRI also showed that my knee was in good condition. So, I started physical therapy and continued with my weekly to daily chiropractic and acupuncture treatments. There was some question as to why I continued to run through the pain, but everyone soon learned that they were not going to convince me otherwise.
I reduced my running distance and frequency substantially, but I never gave up hope. I was going to be in control and I refused to believe differently.
In January 2008 I had what would be my last set of scans before the marathon. I was so nervous. I searched the internet for other marthons in the country that I could go run at a moments notice, because if my cancer was spreading, I was not going to start treatment until I ran 13.1 miles. Somewhere. Anywhere.
The scan results came back after a LONG weekend of waiting. But it was worth the wait! No progression! So, in March 2008 I signed up for the marthon and paid my fee. I ran a few times, here and there, but it took so much time for my knee to feel good again, after a run, that I didn’t run much.
On May 3, 2008 I went down to the runners expo, picked up my chip timer and my bib number and I headed to my doctors office for one last adjustment and a little acupuncture before the big day.
On May 4, 2008 I started, ran, and COMPLETED the 2008 National Guard ½ Marathon in Lincoln Nebraska! It was a monumental moment in my life, and I did it with my husband, children, and parents watching, and my friends by my side! And, at the finishline, I threw my prosthetic breast in the air. Because I had just proved, if to no one other than myself, that you can complete a ½ Marathon with one breast, cement in your spine, and cancer in your rib!
Been there! Done that! Got the t-shirt!
Thanks for all that you do!
Love,
Tracy
“Attitude is everything!”
WHAT AM I THANKFUL FOR?!?! The opportunity to send this letter out to all those people that have taken such good care of me and helped me to my goal! LOVE AND RESPECT! I am also thankful for all the people that cheered us on at the marathon and handed out water!!! A special thanks to the people with ICE!!! (As you may have noticed, some of this BLOG was a repeat from a previous blog for the benefit of my medical providers, but gawd knows it was worth repeating!)
3.16.2008
Relay For Life 2008
I fixed the Link to me Relay For Life page.
The Link to my page is:
The Link to Perseverance is:
The Link to Perseverance Too is:
3.14.2008
Anniversary
THREE YEARS AND STILL ALIVE!!!!!
We did the annual survivorship skinny dip at 12:05am this morning to commemorate the day!!!! Brrrr!
What am I thankful for?! I am thankful that the pond wasn't frozen! =)
3.12.2008
Relay For Life 2008
COMMITMENT
"The biggest and hardest single thing that you will be required to do in the entire battle is to make up your mind to really fight it.
You must, on your own, make the commitment that you will do everything in your power to fight the disease.
No exceptions. No halfway. Nothing for the sake of ease or convenience.
Everything! Nothing short of it.
When you have done this, you have accomplished the most difficult thing you will have to accomplish throughout your entire treatment."
Richard and Anne Bloch, A Tribute to Life, Cancer Survivors Plaza, Dallas TX
It is the 2008 Relay for Life season, and this year, teams "Perseverance" and "Perseverance Too" have commited to CELEBRATE, REMEMBER, and FIGHT BACK!
We are celebrating those who are surviving cancer and celebrating the lives of those that are no long with us.
We are remembering those that we have lost, and all that we loved about them.
We are fighting back in honor of those that we have loved and lost, we are fighting back in honor of us that are still fighting our battles, and we are fighting back so that some day cancer will be just a very bad memory.
Last year team Perseverance raised $21000! We acheived state recognition for our fundraising efforts, and we celebrated how much we were able to do when we put our hearts into what we were doing...well, guess what! Our hearts grew 3 sizes over the holidays!
This year we have branched into two teams because of the number of people we have helping us towards our goal. Team Perseverance will be captained by myself, and Lori and Michelle have graciously accepted the responsibilities of being co-captains. Our other team will be called Perseverance Too (which is not really another team at all)! We are all one in our efforts. P Too will be captained by Skye! He is very proud of his new responsibilities!
This year our goal is to raise $35,000 by team Perseverance and $5,000 by Perseverance Too! And WHEN we accomplish this next goal we have set for ourselves, I (and my co-captains, so they say) will get my head shaved! I have to admit, I have started to have a few panic feelings about the head shaving (I like my hair, and I have really big ears) but when I think about all that I have lost to cancer in the last 3 years, I am reminded that a head shaving is NOTHING compared to the losses that I have felt. I have gone through difficult treatments and permanent body alterating surgeries, I have cried with friends who have been diagnosed with difficult cancers, I have listened to friends who have lost family members to the disease, I have spoken to hundreds of people about my story and about how the American Cancer Society is keeping me alive and I have vowed to do everything I can to help them in their efforts, I have attended the funerals of beloved friends, and I have looked into the teary eyes of my children and I have promised them that I will do everything in my power be here with them as long as I possibly can.
So...if shaving my head, gets some people excited, then I am going to do it! I will tell every newspaper and TV station in the state about our goals, and WE will get this done! I do this for my children, my parents, my husband, and my family and friends. I do this in memory of Christopher, Dr. Larson, Ginni, Mrs. Trindle, and Kim. I do this for the love of my survivor friends that I have met through the RELAY, HEROES OF HOPE, LIFESPRING, METHODIST AND MIDWEST CANCER CENTERS, and LIFE. I do this for my friends who have lost parents, siblings, neices, nephews, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends. And, I do this for me, I am not done here!
If you want to do this too, then please, go to my website and make a donation:
To make a donation online and to track our progress, visit http://main.acsevents.org/goto/tracy.harnly
"The biggest and hardest single thing that you will be required to do in the entire battle is to make up your mind to really fight it.
You must, on your own, make the commitment that you will do everything in your power to fight the disease.
No exceptions. No halfway. Nothing for the sake of ease or convenience.
Everything! Nothing short of it.
When you have done this, you have accomplished the most difficult thing you will have to accomplish throughout your entire treatment."
Richard and Anne Bloch, A Tribute to Life, Cancer Survivors Plaza, Dallas TX
It is the 2008 Relay for Life season, and this year, teams "Perseverance" and "Perseverance Too" have commited to CELEBRATE, REMEMBER, and FIGHT BACK!
We are celebrating those who are surviving cancer and celebrating the lives of those that are no long with us.
We are remembering those that we have lost, and all that we loved about them.
We are fighting back in honor of those that we have loved and lost, we are fighting back in honor of us that are still fighting our battles, and we are fighting back so that some day cancer will be just a very bad memory.
Last year team Perseverance raised $21000! We acheived state recognition for our fundraising efforts, and we celebrated how much we were able to do when we put our hearts into what we were doing...well, guess what! Our hearts grew 3 sizes over the holidays!
This year we have branched into two teams because of the number of people we have helping us towards our goal. Team Perseverance will be captained by myself, and Lori and Michelle have graciously accepted the responsibilities of being co-captains. Our other team will be called Perseverance Too (which is not really another team at all)! We are all one in our efforts. P Too will be captained by Skye! He is very proud of his new responsibilities!
This year our goal is to raise $35,000 by team Perseverance and $5,000 by Perseverance Too! And WHEN we accomplish this next goal we have set for ourselves, I (and my co-captains, so they say) will get my head shaved! I have to admit, I have started to have a few panic feelings about the head shaving (I like my hair, and I have really big ears) but when I think about all that I have lost to cancer in the last 3 years, I am reminded that a head shaving is NOTHING compared to the losses that I have felt. I have gone through difficult treatments and permanent body alterating surgeries, I have cried with friends who have been diagnosed with difficult cancers, I have listened to friends who have lost family members to the disease, I have spoken to hundreds of people about my story and about how the American Cancer Society is keeping me alive and I have vowed to do everything I can to help them in their efforts, I have attended the funerals of beloved friends, and I have looked into the teary eyes of my children and I have promised them that I will do everything in my power be here with them as long as I possibly can.
So...if shaving my head, gets some people excited, then I am going to do it! I will tell every newspaper and TV station in the state about our goals, and WE will get this done! I do this for my children, my parents, my husband, and my family and friends. I do this in memory of Christopher, Dr. Larson, Ginni, Mrs. Trindle, and Kim. I do this for the love of my survivor friends that I have met through the RELAY, HEROES OF HOPE, LIFESPRING, METHODIST AND MIDWEST CANCER CENTERS, and LIFE. I do this for my friends who have lost parents, siblings, neices, nephews, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends. And, I do this for me, I am not done here!
If you want to do this too, then please, go to my website and make a donation:
To make a donation online and to track our progress, visit http://main.acsevents.org/goto/tracy.harnly
To send a donation, make all checks payable to: American Cancer Society
5733 S 34th Ste 500 Lincoln, Nebraska 68516
(Indicate Relay team: Tracy Harnly-Team Perseverance)
You can also help by forwarding this information on to others that you think might be with us in our fight! You will be affecting the lives of millions!
HOPE and LOVE to you!
(Indicate Relay team: Tracy Harnly-Team Perseverance)
You can also help by forwarding this information on to others that you think might be with us in our fight! You will be affecting the lives of millions!
HOPE and LOVE to you!
What am I thankful for?! All the friends/family that have joined my team, all the people that are considering helping us out this year, and I am thankful that I have hair....today! =)
3.08.2008
Thanks for looking out for me!
According to the comments on my last blog there are at least a couple people that are looking out for me and wondering what is going on. One of the comments said I have looked sad at work and have been missing a lot of days.
Well, let me tell ya...Cancer sucks, and I have a few friends in the thick of it right now, and that just frustrates me and breaks my heart! One has been fighting for 2 years and is the most amazingly strong and sometimes painfully independent woman. One is newly diagnosed with a young family and stage four disease. He is stubborn and has a kick ass attitude, which will take him a long way. And the third has been doing this for 6 years I believe...he has the power to move mountains and despite several doctors visits and hospital stays lately, he will pull it out in the end. All three are survivors of a disease that no one should have to experience.
So, that might be why I have looked sad lately.
As for missing a lot of work, I had treatment on Monday and my MUGA to check my heart functioning. My MUGA scan was good. And treatment was uneventful. I had lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks, so I was a little worried about that, but I had blood work and exams done, and they don't see any cause for alarm, so I guess we willl just chalk that up to an unanswered prayer finally answered, because God knows I haven't done anything to work that weight off!
As for the rest of the days I have been gone- Wednesday night I got the stomach flu, so I was on my bathroom floor on Thursday and Friday! Good times!
What am I up to now? Well, I am working on my RELAY teams and hoping to get some fundraising started! And, I am (sort of) training for the Lincoln 1/2 marathon.
Never a dull day! I do my Hope thing in Alma NE tomorrow and was in Seward NE speaking at their Relay Kick Off last week! My dad and my Aunt Ruthie went to that, so that was a nice surprise!
What am I thankful for?! I am thankful that I am no longer throwing up! I am thankful for my husband who took over 100% while I was out of commission. I am thankful for all the movies I had DVRed prior to getting sick! Have you seen Under the Tuscan Sun? Great movie!
Well, let me tell ya...Cancer sucks, and I have a few friends in the thick of it right now, and that just frustrates me and breaks my heart! One has been fighting for 2 years and is the most amazingly strong and sometimes painfully independent woman. One is newly diagnosed with a young family and stage four disease. He is stubborn and has a kick ass attitude, which will take him a long way. And the third has been doing this for 6 years I believe...he has the power to move mountains and despite several doctors visits and hospital stays lately, he will pull it out in the end. All three are survivors of a disease that no one should have to experience.
So, that might be why I have looked sad lately.
As for missing a lot of work, I had treatment on Monday and my MUGA to check my heart functioning. My MUGA scan was good. And treatment was uneventful. I had lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks, so I was a little worried about that, but I had blood work and exams done, and they don't see any cause for alarm, so I guess we willl just chalk that up to an unanswered prayer finally answered, because God knows I haven't done anything to work that weight off!
As for the rest of the days I have been gone- Wednesday night I got the stomach flu, so I was on my bathroom floor on Thursday and Friday! Good times!
What am I up to now? Well, I am working on my RELAY teams and hoping to get some fundraising started! And, I am (sort of) training for the Lincoln 1/2 marathon.
Never a dull day! I do my Hope thing in Alma NE tomorrow and was in Seward NE speaking at their Relay Kick Off last week! My dad and my Aunt Ruthie went to that, so that was a nice surprise!
What am I thankful for?! I am thankful that I am no longer throwing up! I am thankful for my husband who took over 100% while I was out of commission. I am thankful for all the movies I had DVRed prior to getting sick! Have you seen Under the Tuscan Sun? Great movie!
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