Osteonecrosis of the jaw...

...getting WORSE. This is not a good month!
This makes me sad.
Thankful for!? My boys are opening up about my cancer. I am happy that we are able to discuss these things. Love them! They are my heart!

ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy


Rockin the wig!

ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy

Scan results from today

Today I got my scan results back. The scans showed new cancer spots in my cervical, thoracic, and lumbar spine, also in the sacrum. I have 10 new liver lesions. That is quite a few but they are small and I am OPTIMISTIC!!!
I will continue to take Tykerb (the next generation of drug similar to herceptin) and I will stop the Gemzar and add Taxol. With the addition of Taxol I will have new side effects, with the most exciting one being a 100% chance of complete hairloss. Brightside...I already have a wig that I love and lots of bandanas. Might have to tattoo a pink ribbon on my big bald head and rock it baldy style!!!
THANKFUL FOR!? Other treatment options! Here is hoping my suppressed bone marrow can handle it! HOPE & LOVE!!!

ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy


More scans tomorrow

I found out on tuesday that the back pain I have been having can be attributed to breast cancer in my spine, at T1-C7.
Aslo, when doing the chest x-ray to see if I had pneumonia or something else going on in my lungs, they accidentally got a look at my liver and found that I have lesions in my liver.
The tests I will have tomorrow will show a better picture of the extent of that disease, and will also look for any other disease in my abdomen and pelvis.
This, obviously is quite a blow, as disease in the liver is very bad news, especially when I am currently receiving chemotherapy.
I called Dan and he was very supportive as the tears flowed. We are both pretty upset, and of course, worried about the kids.
I decided to tell my sister and parents first and sleep on it a night before telling the kids.
I told the kids lastnight before dinner. They have been told so many times that it almost didn't affect them outwardly this time. Of course we all internalize a lot in this family, so you never really know. They know this time will be harder than all the rest, and Skye had some good questions. Laken usually has to sit on it for awhile and then gets emotional.
I meet with the doctor on Monday to decide what the next step is going to be and in the mean time I wait....I HATE THAT!
I don't know if I am losing my mind or what, but I think I can feel that my liver is enlarged. The sensation is driving me crazy. I am going to have to find something to do this weekend so I don't spontaniously combust!
Thankful for?!?! All the friends and family that are out there supporting me and my family and praying for us! Your outpouring of love is amazing and appreciated!

Make a donation to FIGHT BREAST CANCER!



Chemo was a bust yesterday.

Friday I was running a low grade fever, I thought it might just be a fever for Toby Keith and Trace, but I called the doc to be on the safe side. (They take fevers very seriously when you are on chemotherapy.) I told them about the fever and because we thought the answer might be an infection in my jaw, they switched up my antibiotics and said I could go to the concert. Even though I had seen Toby in concert before my ticket wasnt cheap, so I really didn't want to not use it. I went to the concert and had to sit every so often from just being weak, but I had a good time hanging with Heidi, and of course Trace and Toby were fantastic! 
Saturday morning my fever was still there and I had some awful back pain in the area of my previous cancer and radiation. Luckily I have pain meds on hand for things like this. So, I loaded up with meds and rode along with my sister to get her tattoo. It is beautiful! It is a little overwhelming to see your sis get a tattoo for you though! I love her! She is the best sister ever!
After I got back I crashed on the couch and my fever continued to rise.
Sunday, my fever was going up and down with the aid of tylenol and my back was still a mess, so my mom came and spent the day with me and then took me to Omaha on Monday to see the oncologist.
Doc said that I couldn't have my chemo because my white blood counts were too low and because of my ongoing fever. So, they are running cultures on my blood, did a CT of my chest because of weakness and shortness of breath, and did an MRI of my spine.
So now, I wait....
What am I Thankful for!? The thunderstorm that is rolling through right now!

ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy


My sissy's new tat!

ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy

My sissy's new tat!

My sissy's new tat!

ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy



So, tonight I was telling the boys that for my cancer anniversary tattoo I was going to get a tattoo of their names in the shape of a heart because (like I always tell them) they are my heart.
So, I say "Where should I put the tattoo?" and my son replys "Put it on your arm, then we can be your heart and your strength!"
What am I thankful for!? AMAZING children! They are my heart AND my strength! They are what I live for and they are my hope. I am also thankful for cucumber lemonade! Yummo!!!!


Update on the health stuff...

Back on my medication and the withdrawal side effects are gone. That is a huge relief.
Went and had my jaw checked out, and it is infected. So antibiotics and antibiotic mouthwash for that! Hoping that clears soon. No fun. I did have x-rays taken and the bone that is exposed seems to be moving. Hopefully that will continue and the bone will fall out and that area will close up. Unfortunately that is not the area that keeps getting infected.
Tomorrow is a chemo break, so the lightheadedness and weakness of this weekend will soon be history!
Thankful for!? Mom and Kody coming and working on my yard. Love you guys!


Last years SKYDIVE!!


ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy

Chemo Day

Yesterday was a chemo day, and my blood counts were high enough to receive it! YAY! I have been giving myself a shot the day before chemo to help with my white blood cell production, and it seems to be helping!
This weekend I unintentionally went off one of my medications because I ran out and wasn't able to get a refill till yesterday... let's just say it was one of the longest weekends of my life.... pain, crying, hot flashes, throwing up, decreased patience, I WAS SO SICK OF ME!!!! On the flip side, I hated being so sick in front of the kids, but they were so sweet. Laken gave me a million kisses and if I cried over spilled milk, Skye would just rub my head and say calm down, calm down, we don't want your mascara to run! Made me laugh every time! We all knew tues would be better and we made it through!
Thankful for?! My medical family for bringing ME back!!! And those little guardian angels in my life (even when they are naughty)!!!

ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy


My boys on game day!!!


ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy

Good Advice!

Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.
(Quote by:James Dean)

ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy

Love Will Smith!!!

Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.
(Quote by:Will Smith)

ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy


The American Cancer Society has the latest information and resources for individuals with ANY type of cancer! Check them out! The site is helpful for patients, caregivers, and friends of cancer patients.

ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy

Thyroid cancer awareness month!

Thyroid cancer has a good survival rate!!!! Know the warning signs!!!


ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy

Prostate cancer awareness month!

Barack Obama just signed a proclamation making September 2010 Natl Prostate Cancer Awareness Month!
If you know someone battling prostate cancer, then you know it isn't easy and there are still men suffering and dying from this disease! Remind the loved men in your life to be screened!


ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy


In honor of those surviving ovarian cancer and in memory of those who lost the fight. Hope and Peace!


ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy


Lil Ben, I never met you, but I know you are loved and missed by many!


ATTITUDE is everything!  *Tracy