VIDEO - Why we Relay | RelayForLife.org

VIDEO - Why we Relay RelayForLife.org: http://www.relayforlife.org/relay/trackback/121

Please watch....PLEASE understand. It only takes 3 minutes out of your life to understand what Relay means to so many people, including me. These and or similair words have come out of my mouth so many times. HOPE and LOVE!
What am I thankful for?!
These individuals, for putting themselves out there to help others understand!

The American Cancer Society - 2010 Relay For Life Lincoln Haymarket Park NE:

The American Cancer Society - 2010 Relay For Life Lincoln Haymarket Park NE:

I am again raising money for the American Cancer Society by participating in the Relay For Life with my family and friends!

Please go to the link above to track our fundraising efforts, to sign up for our team, to create your own team, or to donate to help our team raise money towards a CURE!!!!

40% of the funds raised from this event will go to researchers nationwide. The other 60% will be used right here in our state to help cancer patients like myself with transportation to treatment, obtain wigs and other products to help cope with the physical changes of cancer, and provides literature on the cancer diagnosis, treatment options, and issues within the family. These are just a few of the resources that the ACS provides.

My team and I will be walking the track at Haymarket Park for 12 hours- from 7pm on July 16th till the morning of July 17th! Below I am including information on what this walk represents. This and much more information can be found at relayforlife.org and cancer.org.

Please help me give back to an organization that has help me with so so so much!!!

Relay For Life
"Cancer Does Not Stop For Nighttime"

"Relay For Life is an 18 hour journey providing the light and dark of day and night to parallel the physical effects, emotions, and mental state of a cancer patient while undergoing treatment.

Relay For Life begins during the day, when the sun is shining bright and the excitement and energy is flowing through the community. The setting sun symbolizes the time when a patient is diagnosed with cancer. The day is getting darker and this represents the cancer patient's state of mind as he or she feels that life is coming to an end.

As the evening goes on it gets colder and darker, just as the emotions of the cancer patient does. Around 1:ooam to 2:00 am represents the time when the cancer patient starts treatment. They become exhausted, some sick, not wanting to go on, possibly wanting to give up. as a participant, you have been walking and feel much the same way. You are tired, want to sleep, maybe even want to go home, but you cannot stop or give up.

Around 4:00am to 5:00am symbolizes the coming of the end of treatment for the cancer patient. Once again they are tired, but they know they will make it.

The sun rising represents the end of treatment for the cancer patient. They see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that life will go on. The morning light brings on a new day full of life and excitement for new beginnings for the cancer patient. As a participant, you will feel the brightness of the morning and know that the end of the RELAY is close at hand.

When you leave the Relay, think of the cancer patient leaving their last treatment. Just as you are exhausted and weak, so is that person after treatment. But a new day has arrived and we are continuing to take up the fight against cancer. REMEMBER: There is no finish line until we find a cure."

I have not yet had the sun come up on my cancer journey. For the last 5 years I have been in some type of cancer treatment, be it chemotherapy, biological therapy, or radiation. I have not yet been able to feel the realization that I am going to be okay. I live my life in that 1-2am timeframe.

I will continue to fight in memory of my friends that have DIED from cancer, those that will never see the light of day again, and for myself and others who have not yet seen the light of day that represents remission or a cure for cancer.

What am I thankful for?!?! Relayers all over the world!

Virus-based drug attacks cancer cells

Virus-based drug attacks cancer cells



As I drove the jeep with the top off today, I could see my hair floating out the top.
I decided I am going to wear a bandana from now on.
What am I thankful for?! A night of fireworks with the boys and a hotdog and marshmellow roast with the boys and my parents. I had a WONDERFUL night in Goehner!!!
I am so thankful for this time off of work. I used to be too tired to do things like this in the evening.
Love you Mom, Dad, Skye, and Laken!
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Bad News

Went in for Gemzar today and my counts were too low to give it to me.

Not a good sign if my blood marrow can't even handle what little chemo I have been reduced too.

Cancer sucks.

What am I thankful for?! Deanne and Matt. Thanks for being there! (...and Dad and the boys)
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Fantastic Weekend!

This was a great weekend! Spent Thursday helping Lori with the Lucky 7 run, spent Friday with the boys and worked on the Lucky 7, and Saturday the run was a HUGE success! Skye and Laken ran the 1 mile race! Skye got 2nd place behind an NCAA runner, who he kept up with for the first half mile! And then got to take the 1st place prize money! Laken ran amazingly well! I just didn't know those little legs could move so fast!
Skye won one of his two baseball games this weekend and Laken won his game!
The Lucky 7 was on the 10/11 news which can be seen on www.1011now.com, or there is a link to it on my FB page! Good press! After this run, I am now on a mission to find a runner who owns a business that would like to sponsor chip timing for our race next year! We had some fantastic runners out in the park this year and to have chip timing would only make things so much better! Awards would be easier and such accurate times would save us a lot of stress and occasionally some confusion! Runners and race directors both love chip timing! SO....if you know the perfect person for me to contact PLEASE let me know. The perfect person would be someone with a business we could promote with our run, $$ to donate to the chip timing system, and they would must likely enjoy running.
Chemo is tomorrow. Bummer.
What am I thankful for?! Met some cool people this weekend and had some fun! HOPE and LOVE!
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They are going to stop that nasty chemo (carbo)and just give me more of the other one. YAY! Gonna keep my hair again, I think! I hope!
So, Gemzar every Monday for 3 weeks (gonna have to get better nausea meds) and then one week off. I will also continue to take the oral chemo, Tykerb, daily.
Thankful for?!?! No more hospital visits in the near future! (Fingers crossed!) My doc is the best! He always takes into consideration quality of life and not just knockin me out with hard hits that aren't going to "cure" me anyway. Working on keeping me 'stable'! My next scans will be the first week of August. So, from now till then, pray that the Gemzar does the trick!
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A mess...

As the hours count down and chemo gets closer, I am much less positive about having to go up to Omaha tomorrow. I figure that is a lot of the reason that I gave been crying all day. Well, that and the fact that my boys aren't with me today. I never know what to do with myself. I miss their snuggles and how they make me laugh. I can't stand the silence! However, they are with their daddy on Father's Day, and that is VERY important!
I got a letter from the lab saying that my blood work from Monday showed I was a little anemic, but other than that it looked pretty good! YAY! No wonder I have been having such a great week. I guess that is what makes it double hard to go to chemo tomorrow. I will just have to cross my fingers and hope that this time it will be better. It is always possible!
I did get Skye's room cleaned today, so that was productive for me! (Laken's room is always clean!) Hopefully he will enjoy going in there again!
Today has been movie day! Jayms and I watched 'Valentine's Day' and 'Sherlock Holmes'.

What am a thankful for?! My DADDY!!! Happy Father's Day, Dad!! ...and both my grandpas, and all you other DADS out there! Love ya!!! XO
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Typical Saturday (?)

Today I got up, went and watched Skye play baseball, cheered as his team won and he made some great hits, I picked out a wig, and then watched Skye win another game while Laken played with other kids in the background.
Just a typical Saturday, huh?
Not really. How many other moms rushed over to Bravados over lunch to try on 12-15 wigs in ever shape and color in anticipation of losing their hair? I was actually much more emotional as I did this in 2005. This time it was easier (my eyes welled up with tears once, but not one tear dropped)...perspective plays a big role, and I have 5 years of perspective behind me. Besides, my hair is already thinning to the point that I am uncomfortable with what I see in the mirror. Not that it should matter, but I don't like the way it looks, and that does bother me.
So, now I feel prepared, if that is possible. I call the insurance company on Monday to see what % they will pay of my "hair prosthesis" (ie. Wig), give Bravados my wig rx from my doctor and I will be good to go...all ready for my hair to fall out! Then I can officially look as sick and crappy as I feel much of the time. Speaking of feeling crappy, Monday is when I get Carboplatin again (the nasty chemo) that has landed me in the hospital 2 out of 2 times- once for a blood transfusion and once for high fevers. Happy Happy Joy Joy. I don't mean to complain, but it is really hard to get psyched up for that!

What am I thankful for?! My supportive baseball moms (and dads)! I am also thankful for Skye's comment when he saw me in the wig for the first time, "You look sooo young!". My response, "SOLD!!!" Laken, he was just surprised to see It wasn't PINK! Oh dear! Hope and Love!
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Well, It has now been 5 days since my treatment, so I must not be getting any sicker than this! YAY! Feeling great other than some nausea when I try to eat, but the meds fix that! Mildly tired, but truckin right along! Gemzar weeks are gonna be good! Out of town for baseball this weekend (shocking, I know!) and having a good time! The Dawgs won their game tonight!
Rocking a new haircut... since my hair is thinning, I thought a shorter look might be in order.

Thankful for?! My blackberry. The boys have been asleep for a couple hours, and if it wasn't for this phone I would be bored out of my mind!
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So far...

...I am not doing too bad since my Gemzar treatment on Monday. I have been sick to my stomach, but not throwing up and still (almost) able to keep up with the kids! Today was the library, the park, and pitching practice in the back yard!
What am I thankful for?! The company of my BFF! I like having a roommate! Thanks for hanging with me tonight when I was not feeling so great.
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How did I forget?!

I was so focused on how my trip to chemo went that I forget to say THANK YOU to my Relay committee and perseverance team captains and friends who sent the boys and I HUGE gift cards and to my mom and grandmas for there help to make this summer go a lot easier! I don't know exactly how to express how thankful I truely am! Being off work for a while was an extremely difficult/scary decision to make (albeit the right one) and this makes that decision a little less scary.


Thankful for?! This Tracy's Angels!!! xoxo! And...Happy Tears!
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Did it!

Today was pretty successful! I didn't get Gemzar last week like I had (kinda) hoped, but I did get to make it up today! The only thing that was kinda bad today, is that I only got 65% of the dosage due to low platelets. My stomach is pretty upset, but otherwise I am doing okay!
Yesterday the boys and I went swimming!!! Awesome! And tonight Laken won his third ball game 20 to 9!

Thankful for?! QUALITY TIME!!!!!!
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My protectors!

Was going through my photos and just HAD to put this up! Too cute! Don't mess with me, or you will have to deal with them!!!
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Summer Fun

Life is good!!!!
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A couple days ago I was given a gift of money so that I would be able to stay home from work for a while to work on getting better and to spend quality time with my children!

I was very scared to do this, but today I decided to go for it. I am going to spend time with my kids, reduce my stress, and work on doing everything my doctor wants me to do so that I can be here for as long as possible. The treatments are difficult, but this break from work will allow me to rest when I need to rest and maybe try some other more holistic treatments as well.

Thankful for?! Angels Among Us!
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Sleepless in Lincoln

Today was an amazing day!!!

1st thing this morning an angel dropped the most super fantastic opportunity in my lap! I have a lot of thinking to do on this, and then I will share more details!

Then, I went out to dinner with my mom, grandmother, Dan and the kids! That was nice and easy going! Thanks for dinner, Grandma Leff!

Finally, grandma, Dan, Skye and I went to Laken's first baseball game of the season! They won (big time) and Laken did a great job! It was also great to see that Bryson is on Laken's team, so I will be able to keep up with Bridget now!

Thankful for?! HUGE SURPRISES!!! RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS! And, other than fatigue, I felt pretty good today! No nausea, so I even ate pretty well too!
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Good News/Bad News

The good news is...I know I won't be feeling any worse over the next few days, because I didn't get chemo today.

The bad news is...My cancer is not being treated, because I didn't get chemo today.

It is hard to be disappointed when they say I don't have to put that poison into my body. I don't want to get sick! I don't want to be stuck in the hospital or stuck at home in bed, BUT...not getting chemo means more time for my cancer to grow or spread to more dangerous places, like my liver. I want a long life, but I don't want it to be a miserable one. Where is the line between quantity and quality. When is the quality so bad that you are willing to give up quantity to feel better?

Well, I have until next Monday to ponder these great questions, and then I will meet with the doc to have lab done and determine where we go from here. Do we keep trying this, changing the dosing and scheduling? Do we try a different chemo? Do we wait more?

For now, I don't know those answer.

Thankful for?! Daylight Thunderstorms! LOVE THEM! I love watching the storms roll in and out and the fresh smell of rain!
I should have ran and jumped in the puddles! I did swerve a couple times to hit some BIG puddles with the Jeep, that probably counts!
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