10.19.2006

Just an ordinary day!?

Wednesday morning I got up at 4:45am. I showered. I put on my makeup, including lipstick. I took out my earrings and my belly button piercing. I put on jog pants, a sweatshirt, and tennis shoes. I made one final once over in the mirror to insure I had no metal on, then I drove to the hospital in the rain.
Once at the hospital I was signed in, strapped to an MRI table, blindfolded, (starting to sound kinky?), and slid into a tube. I spent the next 90 minutes listening to the soothing sounds of the MRI machine, which can only be compared to having a jackhammer by your head, with an occasional soft voice saying "ok, how you doing? This next picture will take about two minutes.".
After the MRI's of my spine, I moved out into the hallway where I sat for the next 60 minutes savoring the nourishment of barium contrast ...the breakfast of champions! When my 60 minutes were up I was ushered into another room where I got one last shot glass full of contrast and was slid back into modern technology...."take a deep breath, now hold it, 16, 15, 14....3, 2, 1, and breath". We did this about 8 times, and they sent me on my way.
I was right on schedule to be about 20 minutes late for the annual Breast Cancer Survivors luncheon (which I am thinking has got to be a lot more lively than the Breast Cancer Non-Survivors luncheon!). I was not too shaken when about 3/4th of the way there my gas light came on, but when I hit that parked car in the parking garage, I was starting to get a little pissed at how this day was going, and it wasn't even noon yet. So, I tore off a piece of an envelope lying on the floor and scrawled down my name, number, and plates and "I hit your car." I put it under their windsheild wiper and ran in to my second hospital of the day, because I am a survivor, damn it!
At the survivors luncheon I sat with 2 friends and 5 strangers and listened to a woman talk about her breast cancer experience. It is so weird to hear someone talk about their breast cancer experience, because some parts, like how horrible it is to have to tell your parents that you have cancer, are so much the same, and other parts are so very different. Like the fact that I never lost my hair or a breast. These were fears of mine in the beginning, but never happened to me as it has for most other women with breast cancer. It is strange to be in a room full of people who you should feel a strong connection to and still feel so very alone. But, I guess everyone's experience is different, as different as our personalities.
Finally, after the luncheon, it was time to wait for the phone to ring. My friends and I headed back to watch TV and....wait.
It was the PA that called. I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was smiling. She actually laughed a little as she spoke. She said that all my scans showed that my cancer was stable, and some areas even showed improvement!
WHAT A RELIEF!
I cried.
I laughed.
I thanked God.
I cried.
I napped.
I went out to eat.
I threw up.
I cried.
I hugged my kids.
I kissed my husband.
I went to bed.
What am I thankful for?! I am thankful that there was no little old man waiting outside the hospital to beat me with his cane for hitting his car in the parking garage. I am thankful that I didn't run out of gas. I am thankful for the woman that was brave enough to share her breast cancer story. I am thankful for my friends and family, and I am thankful for the two most precious little boys in the world. They are my heart and my strength!

10.15.2006

Still no news.

No news yet on my appeal to my insurance company to get my PET scan. If they deny my PET on appeals then I will have to decide if I want to wait and try to get my secondary insurance to approve it, or if I just want to go ahead with CT scans and MRIs instead. Should hear back from my insurance company on Monday.
What am I thankful for?!
Husker wins and pink M&Ms!

10.10.2006

No news.

Still no news on when my scans will be. My oncologist wrote a letter to the insurance company explaining my need, and I guess right now we are just waiting.
On Sunday I ran a 5K run, the Komen Race for a Cure. I got 3rd place in the Survivors Division, and we made the Omaha World Herald on Monday! I got a trophy!!! Pretty good for the diseased, and fairly non-athletic girl! It was a great morning, and over 12,000 people participated in the walk! It was AMESOME!!!!
I will let you all know when I actually get my scans scheduled!!!!
What am I thankful for?!?!
Snuggling under the blankets when it is rainy and chilly outside, Melissa Etheridge, and Don Q rum!

10.04.2006

Gone CRAZY!

Well, I have heard back from my insurance company and they said that they are not going to okay my PET/CT scan. They said that I needed a letter from my doctor indicating why I needed a scan....ummmm...because I have metastatic cancer!!!!?
Seriously, around scan time I get a little crazy!!! I stayed home from work for a half of day on Thursday and then all day on Monday! There is always that chance that my life might change dramatically in a blink of an eye!
On Sunday night I had what might be considered a complete break from reality! Around 10pm, after the kids went to bed, I got really mad about having CANCER! This lovely...apparently over stressed break led to my screaming and bawling and hitting my hubby and our home office until he directed me to the bedroom so that I did not wake up the children! I totally agreed and willingly moved to our bedroom, and then... wanted to throw everything heavy we own out the plate glass windows!! Strong, or crazy?!?! I am guessing, on a crazy scale, with 1 being pretty close to normal, and 10 being naked in traffic singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider, I was closely approching a 9.5!!! So, if you hear the Itsy Bitsy spider, grab a blanket and throw me in your trunk!!! Much love!!!!
What am I thankful for!?!?!
Time to myself.

10.03.2006

Cancelled!

My insurance company has not yet okay'ed my PET/CT scan. I will updated you all when I find out when it will be rescheduled! It has been a stressful few days/week, and it looks like that will be delayed a little longer.
What am I thankful for?!
My old insurance company that didn't need precertification for PET scans!!!