5.06.2005

Courage

Apparently, a perfectly normal day can be followed by a perfectly not normal night.

What is courage?

Everyone keeps telling me how courageous I am and how strong that I am. Well, unless courage is found huddling on the guest bathroom floor crying at 3:30 in the morning, I am not so sure that I am the picture of courage. It is times like these where I wish that there was something that I could do to make this all go away. I wish I could be strong and run it off, or stay up for days and study it away, or something, anything. But my current reality is that I am here doing what I can to eat right and keep the rest of my system healthy while I wait to see what Gods plan is for me. I am Girl in Limbo. And in the mean time, I am going to put all my energy into enjoying life, I guess that is what I am meant to do!

You know, there is something very therapeutic about typing this Blog. It seems, that either I am such a slow typer that by nature it just gives me enough time to feel better or that by putting my thoughts into words it gets them out of my head where they seem to fog up a perfectly happy yet quirky thought pattern, but...I feel better already. And am actually quite thankful. What am I thankful for now? I am thankful that my boys have good aim when they use that guest bathroom! ((Oh, and I guess it is the 6th now...Happy Birthday, boys! I love you!))