MUD RUN 2010- It was a family thing!

MUD RUN 2010

School pick-ups

I just wanted to share some absolute joy that I get to feel every day! I have been blessed with the opportunity to pick my boys up from school. Every other year they have had to ride a daycare van. Laken, when he walks out of the school, I watch him locate me, and then run a dead sprint to the jeep with the absolute hugest smile on his face. I have never felt more loved!!! He jumps in the back seat and then crawls right up to give me a kiss! Skye, I pick him up at middle school, so I really wasn't sure what to expect out of him, he is so dang cool and all. However, like clockwork he gets in gives me a kiss and tells me he loves me. Right there!!! I hesitated the first time thinking he wasn't really going to give me a kiss.... I am so blessed with boys that are not ashamed to love their mama! I am proud! Now....I don't want them to be weird mamas boys living in my basement at 27...but for now, I couldn't be happier!
Thankful for?!?! Love in my life!

Off week

Today is a scheduled no chemo day! Thank goodness.  The last couple days I have been feeling pretty yucky and have had some trouble with nausea and vomiting. Fortunately I got some rest lastnight because this week is sure to be busy with school and football. I was so blessed to have Dan's dad pick up the boys for baseball lastnight and my mom and dad came over and helped with some of my overdue fix-it projects and yard work. Yesterday I mowed the front yard and got sick. I think it is the heat. I have always been a fan of the hot hot weather, but I guess I just can't tolerate it like I used to. Well...Laken is getting out of school. Gotta run!
What am I thankful for!? My family!

1st day of school!

The project....

Laken Daniel

Amazing boy.

Laken and I spent 6 hours together today, building a dresser, and we did it wrong so we can't when use it, but we high-fived our way through the parts we did right and had a great time working together....much patience and perseverance was shown by both of us! We will figure out how to fix it tomorrow.  I hope.
We also watched a Disney movie that turned out to have kids with a dad, but their mom had died. Laken was able to express his fears to me about the possibily of me dying, and we had a very mature discussion about it. I love that he is able to express his feelings with me. It means the world to me. I only wish Skye was able to do the same. He is much more closed up, emotionally.
What am I thankful for?! Another wonderful day with my children! Though we had some tears with a tough conversation, we were together and many more "I love you's" were exchanged!!! Hope and Love!

See you on the flip side, Mel! Rest In Peace! Love, me.
What am I thankful for!? Mel's strong faith.

Rough night

Trying to sleep tonight, but my back pain just wont let me. Also have my friend Mel on my mind. He is not doing well.  Cancer is rough. Unless you have cancer, I think it is hard to truly understand all the ways it messes up your life. Your health, your relationships, your fears about the future, your career, your ability to walk run jump and play....it is all changed in the blink of an eye.
What am I thankful for!? Time with the boys and an evening with Jayme and Susan.

Scan results and chemo!

The cancer in my lymphnodes is smaller! The bone cancer is not larger! There are no new areas of disease! My pulmonary effusion has resolved!
Today my labs were high enough to get chemo!
What am I thankful for!? A nice dinner and drinks with Jennifer, a fantastic weekend in North Platte, and fun at the saltdogs game with my boys! Thankful that chemo is working! Thankful for all this good fortune! LIFE IS GOOD!!! Focusing on the positives really helps!

Trip to Omaha

Went in for chemo today only to find that my counts were down...no treatment.
Scans will be this Wednesday.
Hopefully chemo next Monday. I would guess everything will depend on the results of my scans.
Thankful for?!?! Quality time with my boys tonight. We were in bed just talking for 2 hours. The things they tell me...I am so blessed.
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Commercial

The boys filmed a short 30 second commercial for Making Strides Against Breast Cancer today! They did a great job and looked so handsome! The walk is in mid-October, so the commercial will start running on 10/11 in about a month! They were initially bummed to be missing the Fremont train with the daycare, but after the taping they said they had fun and were so glad they did it! What nice boys....
What am I thankful for?! A good day with the boys. Now for some relaxing, chemo is kicking in and I am so wiped out.
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CFD Cheyenne WY

Girls trip this weekend was a blast! Thanks Teresa, Michelle, and Angela!
(We missed you Heidi! Hope you and Stevie are feeling smarter after your weekend in Estes!)
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God/Prayer Question

To anyone who believes in a higher power and that would like to comment, what are your thoughts:

So, I have heard that you shouldn't pray for a cure to your disease, you should pray for courage or strength in dealing with it, so that is what I have always done.
Then, I hear that when you pray for courage or strength, God doesn't give you courage or strength, but instead he gives you opportunities to be courageous or to show your strength, I don't want more opportunities to be my courageous....
So, I thank God for all that I am given and for each day that I wake up I thank God for giving me my soul back another day....
But, does anyone have any thoughts on praying for a cure to cancer? What if I pray for a cure for someone else with the same thing I have...I would do that anyway, is that like praying for myself since it would help me too? Are there really all these restrictions on what we can pray for, or should we just talk to God and see what happens...do we go to hell for praying the wrong prayer? What do my friends and family believe on this topic?...I could really use some other peoples thoughts on this.
What am I thankful for? A forum to ask this question.
What would I appreciate? Honest thoughts, written in a respectful way, so as not to purposely hurt others. People won't agree, but out of respect, I ask that if you deside to read the comments and leave a comment of your own, you write it so as to just share your thoughts and not to judge or demean the thoughts and beliefs of others! Thanks!
Sometimes we need to agree to disagree...this is one of those times. HOPE and LOVE!
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Scans

Just realized not too long ago that my scans are coming up in a week or so...getting VERY nervous! More nervous for these scans than I have been for other scans in the last couple years, if you can imagine that. It could be a long couple weeks.
I apologize to the boys and Jayme in advance, because they have to live with me, and by now we all know how I get...
What am I thankful for?! Well, I guess I am thankful that, with the scans, Dr Langdon and I will know what is going on and we will be able to make adjustments accordingly.
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My blood counts were good today, so I was able to get chemo!!! DIE CANCER DIE!!!!

<3 I have the most amazing 'co-workers' on the planet! I am blessed, blessed, blessed, blessed, blessed!!!!! <3
Well, I guess you know what I am thankful for!

No Chemo this week.

I went in for chemotherapy this week, and my blood counts were all to low to get treatment, especially my white count which was 0.9. Normal is between 4-10. Yikes! The doc put me on antibiotics, and I did shots to boost my counts on both Monday and Tuesday. Today I went in and had lab drawn and my counts were back up. My white count is normal, and my red count and platelets are only mildly low.
I am packing for a girls trip this weekend to Cheyenne for Frontier Days! YAY! I leave tomorrow! If my counts didn't go up, they didn't think I should go...thank goodness my bone marrow responds well to the shots they give me! Giddy-up!!!
Right now I am writing this from bed where I am watching the boys sleep. They are so peaceful when they are sleeping. I haven't even left yet, and I am already missing them. I hate going 4 days without them, but they will be with their dad, and he has promised to make them ribs on Saturday, so they are looking forward to that! =)
Thankful for?! Good friends, guardian angels, and my family!
Say a little prayer that I get chemo next Monday!
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And the sun comes up after another Relay! Amen!
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to all those that CELEBRATED, REMEMBERED, and pledged to FIGHT BACK!
Thankful for?! Dan driving to Des Moines, I brought my pillow!
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