This last round of chemo left me feeling better than rounds before it. In doing so, it made me worry a little that the chemo is no longer working....however, I had lab work done today to find that my hgb and platelets are both very low, so I am in need of both a blood and platelet transfusion tomorrow. On the bad side, that is long, and boring, requires missing more work, and adds a trip to Omaha on my "off" week. On the good side, that means the chemo must still be wrecking havoc in my body, and I am just somehow tolerating it better (must be that acupuncture!).
The nurse was surprised that I was up and running...she said that with my counts as low as they are she expected me to be in bed. While I did nap today, that was probably more due to the long, active weekend we had, and the fact that as I am nearing the end of my first phase of treatment and I am not sleeping well. I am just so scared to go in to that appointment after all my restaging tests have been done, especially when all I really have to compare it to was my initial staging appointment where the doctor so calmly read though all my test results aloud and noted all the places my cancer had seemed to have spread to.... my liver, my spine, my ribs. It was a moment that no one should have to experience, and no one can possibly imagine unless they have experienced it. Each day, every little pain in my spine is a constant reminder that my cancer now may have really spread there. It is scary, but I am trying to work through it the bast I can, and maintain the attitude that "I" will be the one who gets the miracle of life!
What am I thankful for?!?! Fireworks and my loving and supportive family and friends, thanks for the GREAT holiday weekend!!!!
