May 3rd I start a new chemotherapy regimen- full steam ahead! I wish I wasn't going into this already fatigued! Dan & I did sit down and tell the boys tonight!

Thankful for?! Kids who are tough as nails! I pray they wouldn't need to be.

Called to get my CT results from the nurse like I always do. The receptionist said she would have my nurse call me back, like she always does....no call.......

Called for my results the 2nd time & the receptionist put me on hold for the nurse & then got back on the phone to say the Doc will call me. Not sounding good!

Thankful for?!? Friends who talk me through all the possibilities and remind me I have Adivan.... Those through "Thick and Thin" friends! Love you guys!

My Doc didn't call with my scan results yesterday, so I will call this morning and see what I can find out! My fingers and toes are starting to cramp!!! =)

THANKFUL for?!? The story posted below! 17 years is a long time to live with this disease, physically and mentally! What HOPE she provides for human STRENGTH!

A MUST READ from NY TIMES: 17 Years Later, a Cancer Survivor Is Celebrating Life
For more: http://s.nyt.com/s/CsD=24U
HOPE and LOVE! -Tracy

Had chest, abd, & pelvic CT scans today, & also a tibia x-ray. 1st time in a long time that I had tears going into the scanner. Cross your fingers and toes!!!

They are putting a rush on my scan results, so I will probably hear today yet or tom. morning, so send your prayers quickly if u are sending them! HOPE & LOVE!

Thankful for? Koke & the scan dance; for Jill & the others that turn scans at Cancer Cntr into "catching up with friends"! Bless you!!! & a lil extra for Matt!

MRI Results: No cancer in my brain! Today is a day to celebrate!!! AMEN!

What am I thankful for?! Getting a break, medically. I needed positive results for once! YAY!

Waiting....... Thankful for?! The smells of spring! Love the blooming trees, the fresh rain, and the newly mowed lawns. LOVE IT!

Waiting Game...had brain MRI done at 12:30pm today. They said it will be anywhere from 24-72 hours to get the results. 24 okay. 72 CRAZY. HOPE and LOVE, Tracy

What am I thankful for?! All the support I get at work from friends and admin! Thank you all!

Heading to get MRI of brain. Was having some symptoms& then last night I passed out. Just need to check things out since I haven't had MRI lately.

May next appt with my Oncologist is May 3rd.

Cancer update: Tykerb/Xeloda are my current chemos. The lymphnodes & lung/liver are clear & the rib is unchanged/painful. New cancer in my tibia (shin bone).

ONj Update: The condition has not gotten any better, but I have a doc at the pain clinic who is managing my meds & the pain is under fairly good control! Whew!

I continue to be SO, SO, SO thankful for my children, every sec of every day! They are my life! I'm also thankful that they have a Dad that loves them equally!

NYT: Cancer Fight: Unclear Tests for New Drug
For more: http://s.nyt.com/s/H8ZmJIM

2010!

Well, 2010 is already shaping up to be a very busy year! In the next 3 weeks I already have 7 scheduled medical appointments with acupuncture, pain clinic, oncology, and nutrition! The pain patch was a 36 hour relief from my pain, but has stopped working, way too soon! I guess I celebrated too early! Between pain and nausea I have only put in about 20 hours of work a week for the past two weeks! How is this going to pay the bills!? Especially since I JUST BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!!! Woo-Hoo! I close on my house this coming FRIDAY! Yeah! Time to get out of this apartment (or "box" as the kids refer to it!) Can't wait to have a driveway to scoop and a lawn to mow!!! It might seem like a pain, but believe me, you miss it when you don't have it!
Relay Kick-Off is this Tuesday! I am particularly excited this year, as I am the Co-Chair for our event! That is a BIG responsibility with a Relay our size, but I am very excited to be taking on this challenge and working closely with the our Relay Chair, Jackie! I am also traveling to Austin TX in two weeks to speak at the Central Texas Relay University! This will be a great way to get back into the groove of Relay and to connect with many of my extended Relay family members!!! ....and then traveling again the end of February to Dallas TX for Relay Leadership Weekend! YEAH HOH WORKGROUP!!!! We have a lot to do!!! I kinda feel like Texas is my second home! Unfortunately they are not that much warmer than us right now!
Bring on 2010! I can take it!!
What am I thankful for?!?! Friends and family that have patience with me. When I am in pain I do not like to be around other people. It is too difficult. Thank you for giving me space. I promise that when I get this pain under control I will become social again, but right now I only have the ability to handle my responsibilities: kids, medical, work, house, and relay! Love to you all!

Dear GOD, If you are reading my BLOG, could you PLEASE give me strength to cope with my mouth pain? I'm not being very patient with people that I care about.

Thankful for?! Secret Santa surprises, becoming a member at my church, and a weekend with Jayms! (not necessarily in that order)

Results: My cancer is stable. I'll stay on my current chemo regimen as it appears to be helping! Doc is going to talk to a pain specialist about my mouth. HOPE!

Thankful for?! My boys. Wow, could two little boys have bigger hearts?! I am so lucky! <3

CT Scans tomorrow....

Thankful for?! Healthy children. I love them!

Overly busy weekend, and then 1st scans since starting new chemo on Monday! Thankful for?! The opportunities I have been given in life!

Giving THANKS today! ...the list is unending! I feel so blessed! Have a safe holiday full of love, happiness, and good cheer! Hope and Love, T

2nd Opinion on Jaw

Well, I met with the oral surgeon at UNMC that works with a lot of patients with ONj. And, the consensus is that we do...nothing. There is good and bad news that goes with this decision.
The good news: He thinks that if my ONj was going to progress it would have already progressed at least a little in the last three months that I have been dealing with it. So, he doesn't think that it will get worse.
The bad news: What will happen is that piece of my jaw will die, and I will "spit it out". Mmmm...nice. But, once that happens there will, hopefully, be enough tissue for that area to heal shut and, hopefully, make my pain go away. This could take anywhere from 6 months to 18+ months to occur.
To review-
Good news: The pain will end.
Bad news: Not for quite some time.
What am I thankful for?!
Dinner with Dad and grandma and grandpa Lingwall this afternoon, and Thanksgiving with Mom and grandma and grandpa Leff this weekend. And...the kids are excited to open one Christmas present each tonight and we had fun decorating for Christmas lastnight. Life is still good! =)

Well, the appt is set! I will meet with the specialist at UNMC on Monday at 1pm! I am hopeful that he will have some helpful ideas for me!

What am I thankful for?! Todays beautiful weather!

Great article Jennifer (Lowe) Livernois! Thankful for you and your proactive attitute in your community!

Health officials decry report on mammograms
http://m.billingsgazette.com/mobile/article_09abc8ba-d3d7-11de-a898-001cc4c002e0.html

Saw the oral surgeon. He's referring me to a specialist at UNMC. The date of that appt isn't set yet. Until then, continue pain meds & stop the topical agents.

Thankful for?! A new perspective on the horizon. And I am thankful for my oral surgeon. I honestly think he wants what is best for me! Thanks for the hug!

Whining about my mouth/jaw...sorry.

Here is a link to the best information I have found regarding my condition....I have had a million and one people ask me about it, and why they can't "fix" it, and what they are going to do next, etc. Here is a good article regarding my condition and the treatment of my condition...

http://jop.stateaffiliates-asco.org/JanuaryIssue/7.pdf

I do think I would think twice before ever taking IV Zometa, and I will NEVER go back on it again! I am miserable! I have had a "toothache" for 3 months now! I think the drug company should add to the list of warnings that it CAN and DOES spontaniously occur in patients that have had NO dental work done, and who have EXCELLENT teeth and dental hygiene. I know...because it happened to me.

I see the oral surgeon again tomorrow. I hope he has an idea for better pain management!

What am I thankful for?! Pain medication.

Had my monthly follow-up appt with my oncologist today. *Nothing new to report* Scans in 4 wks. Thankful for?! The nice drive to Omaha. The weather is great!

The Week Ahead | Cancer patient organizes run to fight her disease - KansasCity.com

The Week Ahead Cancer patient organizes run to fight her disease - KansasCity.com

Missed my kids more than anything lastnight! Wish I could have gone trick-r-treating with them. Thankful for?! IM picture messaging! Thanks for the photos, Dan!

New email address!

GETTING THINGS TOGETHER! After 10 1/2 months, I spent most of today trying to get my bills and affairs into better order.
My daycare payments have been incorrect, so I have been paying too much (great record keeping, huh), but at least I don't owe extra.
My email has also been going thru Dan's modem rather than mine, so I could never fix my connection and haven't been getting email on my PC forever (been using my blackberry for everything) but, after 3 hours on the phone with timewarner, an help from Dan, I have a new email address. Please make a note of it...

tharnly1@neb.rr.com!

Please do not use tharnly@neb.rr.com or tmarymoon@yahoo.com or tmarymoon@gmail.com. I no longer check them...it is TOO MUCH to keep track of! Thank you!

What am I thankful for? The 2nd person a timewarner that helped me- she was great, Dan for helping out in the middle of his work day, and the couple coors lights that helped me with my patience. You know how I am....I want everything fixed YESTERDAY! =)

Now I am going to watch Johnny Cash- Walk the Line with a friend....Love it!

DO NOT look at photos of ONj on the www.! I didnt know if I was going to vomit or pass out! The photos did come with a warning. I shouldve heeded that warning!

Just went back to the oral surgeon. He spoke with my oncologist & will follow up with me monthly to follow up on the osteonecrosis of my jaw caused by Zometa.

What am I thankful for?! A caring medical TEAM! The # of team members keeps increasing! Yeeps!

The Tracy's hit the Lincoln Journal Star- Oh dear!

http://www.journalstar.com/news/local/article_3a30519c-b9e0-11de-b82e-001cc4c002e0.html

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer is THIS Sunday! Reg@12PM! Walk@1PM! Please join us & WEAR YOUR PINK!!! Thankful for?! Susan's smiles! She is doing great!

GOOD NEWS!!! Abdomen and foot...CANCER FREE! I don't even care what is wrong with them now!!! Thankful for?! Good news from the Doc!

Tracy & I are scheduled to have a story run about us this coming Friday, in the Lincoln Journal Star, written by the ever too fantastic Cindy Lange-Kubick!

10/12 appt: Dr stopped my IV Zometa due to complications with my jaw. I had a foot xray and an abdominal ultrasound to check out some pain. I am not stressed.

Thankful for?! Time spent with Tracy at our oncologists office. We just laugh the whole time! What a blessing! (although I do wish she didn't have to be here!)

What am I thankful for?!?! All my Relay friends kicking off Summit!!! Celebrate, Remember, Fight Back! Hope and Love to you all!

Apparently mammos, when you expect nothing, can be nervewracking too, because I have tears now for "no" reason. Must be the test. ? Thankful for?! Great tech!

Today: Lab & mammo. Tomorrow: Newspaper interview. Wed: Funeral. Thankful for?! Extra time with the boys this week! Can't wait to give them gifts from Denver!

I completed the 10k in Omaha this past weekend, and I am getting excited for the Race for a Cure in Denver this coming weekend!!! Thankful for?! Fall weather!!

Only lab work today! 3 pokes & they got it! I won't hear anything unless they are too bad. I feel good, so I don't expect any bad news! Thankful for?! Jayme!

Thankful for?! This upcoming weekend with family and friends for the Omaha Marathon weekend!!!

Another doctors appointment today to discuss the many wonderful sideeffects of breast cancer treatment x4 1/2 years! But, done with Xeloda for 7 days!!! WooHoo!

The kids LOVED Sunday School again this week! Yeah! Off to get my lab drawn! Thankful for?! Pandora Radio- Sometimes its just the little things! Hope & Love!

Thankful for?! Eric and Sam for understanding the never ending cancer battle... Thanks for keeping me company in the trenches!

Thankful for?! Julie Kokrda for making me feel less crazy!

Thankful for?!?! Amy Hull, and her band of merry makers that have been dropping me care packages! Think and Thin!

Thankful for?! Lori Borer!

Starting my week on Xeloda. Let the weight loss begin! LOL! Also calling to set up an appt with a mental health specialist that works with cancer patients. =)

Please, HUG the people you love and tell them that you love them! It is so very important!!!! I am thankful for each and every hug and I love you that I get!

ERIC...I thought I typed him first! Eric recovers in the hospital from surgery because....CANCER SUCKS!!!

What am I thankful for?! Today, because yesterday is over and tomorrow is not a guarantee.

I...just swallow the pills down and pray they work! CANCER SUCKS!!!!!!!

Nicki, Nicki, and Linda try to recover and regroup after losing a husband, a step-mom, and a son-in-law! RECOVER, are you kidding me?!?! CANCER SUCKS!

Mandi asks me for prayers for her and her husband Scot as he battles insurance companies for cancer treatment that he NEEDS! CANCER SUCKS!!!

Marcie is raising little girls alone, through first days of school, potty training, gymnastic classes...because Jason lost his war with cancer! CANCER SUCKS!!!

Amberly is raising a 4 year old and infant twins through the side effects of chemo! These are supposed to be the best days of her life! CANCER SUCKS!!!

Tracy P has put off starting a family with her new husband because of her cancer treatments! CANCER SUCKS!!!

Susan feels like stopping chemo (but isn't going to) because the side effects are so awful!!! CANCER SUCKS!

Sam just found out that he has ANOTHER type of skin cancer...like one type wasn't enough??? CANCER SUCKS!!!

Patrick Swayze and Farrah Fawcett have now both lost their wars with cancer. CANCER SUCKS!

Thankful for?! I was truely blessed with a WONDERFUL day with the boys yesterday! Ice cream, swimming, running, bike riding...just a lot of together time!

Dr L was pleased with my response to chemo! Said I will stay on the Tykerb until cancer progresses. MAY get a break from Xeloda if scans are CLEAR in Dec.

Chemo only helps if I remember to take the pills! That would be the one downfall of oral chemotherapy. Taking my meds now! Thankful for?! A great workplace!

I can no longer feel the tumors in my neck! Chemotherapy must be working! And, the side effects have resulted in a 10# weight loss! (bonus) Just plain THANKFUL!

What am I thankful for?! An office with a door!

Im feeling better & going to work a little today. Still have pain with the shingles and can't wear a bra so Im going to have to one boob it..oh the humanity!

Home from girls trip to Vegas. I think I might have shingles and Skye has the stomach flu. Poor guy. I made a bed in the bathroom for him & he is a trooper!

Starting to feel the side effects of chemo & I'm not excited to start again next week. But, right now I get 7 days off the heavy meds & I'm off to VEGAS BABY!

Zometa in Omaha today. BP was low, but blood counts were all still hanging in there! One more day of Xeloda and then a 7 day break! Yay! Thankful for?! My boys!

Started chemotherapy today. As much as I hate all the side effects, I have too much to live for!
What am I thankful for?! Having roses delivered to me at work!

My Chemo is finally scheduled to be delivered TOMMORROW!!!
What am I thankful for?! Thick and Thin Friends.

I am so scared...

What am I thankful for?! (Anticipating) Another 1st day of school picture with me in it!

Waiting for the plan to start

Well, I am stopping the IV Herceptin because it is no longer keeping my cancer stable. I will stay on Zometa to keep my bones strong and slow the progression of the cancer that is in my rib and my spine (T11, T3 still looks stable). The rib pain is back, but with pain killers it still goes away completely. Hopefully the new chemo will help that also.
As for the lymphnodes above my left clavical, those are no longer seen on CT scan afters May's surgery and radiation treatment.
What is new is the lymphnodes above my right clavical and the nodule in my lung...I believe it is the left lower lobe.
The drugs I will be taking are Tykerb (which is the "next" Herceptin) and Xeloda, which is always taken in combination with the Tykerb.
Tykerb, as I understand it, is a biological drug that attacks only cancer cells, so is easier on the body. Xeloda is a chemotherapy which will have many of the other chemo sifde effects.
As for the hair...it might just thin, rather than falling out. I learned my lesson last time, so I am going to wait and see, rather than running out and chopping my hair off like I did last time!
Both of the new drugs are taken in pill form, which will reduce the hours spent in the oncology office! All I will have to go to the oncology office for is the IV Zometa, which only takes 30 minutes to infuse, and for my check ups with Dr. Langdon.
The Tykerb has to be delivered directly to me, and the Xeloda is picked up at the pharmacy with the anti-nausea meds, etc.
Right now I just have to wait for the Tykerb delivery arangements to be finalized and then I am good to go.
The Arimidex that I am taking makes me nauseous and causes some not so sweet hot flashes. I have switched over from the space heater to the fan!
That is all for now. ...I will let you know how things go when I get into it. I dont really know what to expect right now.
What am I thankful for?!
Dottie at Little Lingdom. She is an amazing support person for my kids!

What am I thankful for?! Having "the talk" with the kids & having them take it so well! So young & trusting! We all need Hope and Faith like that! I love them!

Update- I did have some clavical nodes & a lung nodule that showed up on CT scan & the cancerous rib & T11 in my spine...so, off the Herceptin & back to chemo.

What am I thankful for?! Every minute that I spend with my boys. I am ready for church in the morning... Much needed hope and faith!

Took the boys swimming & to the Co. Fair. Trying to keep busy & my mind off Monday's appt...but now it is nighttime, & the thoughts just won't shut off...

Hurry up and wait....

Well, the scans were done yesterday. My doctor is not in the office again until Monday the 10th, so I will go in at 9:30am that day to get my scan results and discuss what to do next.
In the mean time I purchased livingroom furniture and a video camera (to start a video journal), so, what I am saying is... I should have plenty to do with all my nervous energy.
Unfortunately, I am having a very tearful week and I am nervous to get the scan results (I guess that is natural in my situation).
I sure hope and pray that my cancer has only spread in my neck and not to other places!
But, until Monday I will try to keep the "what ifs" at bay as much as possible and spend some quality time with my kiddos and my BFF's!
What am I thankful for?!
Amy's new baby! Her baby pics are making me happy....what a beautiful little girl! Welcome to the world Graclyn!

FYI regarding Music...

If you go to the bottom of the page, you can pick which song off my list you would like to listen to, otherwise it randomly plays them.
I am always thankful for the music in my life! I always have a theme song!

PERSEVERED

What am I thankful for?! All those that "weathered the storm" with me at Relay! The rain came down but we PERSEVERED & the early morning hours were beautiful!

Relay Update

Perseverance raised approx $18,000! I am so proud of our team! 13 team members raised $1000 or more! WOW! Great for a "transitional" year! HOPE!!!

Facebook

I update facebook much more often due to the ease & speed of it, & because I don't have to wait for the kids to go to sleep. Friend me @ Tracy Lingwall Harnly!

Thankful

What am I thankful for?! The thoughts and prayers coming from all my family/friends, and for time at the pool with my kiddos (yep, blogging via text poolside!).

Health Update

Well, I finished radiation from the metastatic disease in my left clavicular lymphnodes and was feeling good. Unfortunately this last Tuesday I found new lumps on the other side of my neck....same set of nodes, just on the opposite side.
CRAP!!!!!!!! (sorry)
I have CT scans of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis tomorrow, and then I consult with my oncologist on 8/10. That is a lot more WAITING!
Thankful for?!
The last 4 1/2 years that my treatment has been working well (for the most part).