6.19.2008

I relay....

I relay …
I started to relay because my kids were 2 and 5 years old, and I thought their mommy was dying. I was desperate to do anything that might lead to a cure or at the very least… stall the inevitable.

I continued to relay because I became a part of a community that I understood and loved and who understood and loved me. It didn’t matter if I was sad, mad, scared, excited, nervous, confused or apprehensive. They always understood, and never said, “Don’t think like that”. They understood that when you face cancer, there is nothing you don’t think about.

I relay today because when I was diagnosed I knew no one who had cancer, and since that time I have had many friends diagnosed with cancer and three who have already died.
I relay today because I have more things left to see and do.
I relay today because I am tired of going to the cemetery to talk to the one friend who might REALLY know how I feel.
I relay today because I can’t hear her answers to the questions I am asking. I relay today because her children drop off her mother’s day gifts at the cemetery.
I relay today because I refuse to believe that this is how it is meant to be.

I will relay tomorrow because I don’t give up.
I will relay tomorrow because there has to be a reason why I am still here and my friends are not, and I don’t yet know what that reason is.
I will relay tomorrow because I have friends that aren’t yet cured.
I will relay tomorrow because the memories of those that have gone before me are never to be forgotten and should be honored to the fullest.
I will relay tomorrow because I don’t want my children or your children to die from cancer.
I will relay tomorrow because Relay has given me so much and I want to give back.
I will relay tomorrow because…I love you.
What am I thankful for?!
The Dama-mamas, my friends (some here, and some playing supporting roles in other states), my coworkers, my ACSers, my family, my husband, and MY CHILDREN...oh, and you too, Taz!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tracy,
This is beautiful!--very touching and inspiring!
Thanks for sharing
~Gail

Anonymous said...

Keep hangin in Tracy! I think of you often and hope you're having a good summer. Shari (Bratt) Watts

Anonymous said...

OH...you added Taz to the thankful list...HOW SWEET!!
He was laying at your feet wasn't he?!?! haha
I LOVE YOU and I LOVE TAZ MAN TOO!!
Love your sis and Taz's aunt :)

Anonymous said...

OH...you added Taz to the thankful list...HOW SWEET!!
He was laying at your feet wasn't he?!?! haha
I LOVE YOU and I LOVE TAZ MAN TOO!!
Love your sis and Taz's aunt :)

Anonymous said...

I relay for my HOTTIE sissy who gets to keep her beautiful hair...YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I know not as touching as yours, but yours was a hard one to follow)

Anonymous said...

I relay for my HOTTIE sissy who gets to keep her beautiful hair...YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I know not as touching as yours, but yours was a hard one to follow)