I am not very inspired to blog right now.
CANCER SUCKS...and I just feel too angry right now to deal with it.
Miraculously, I am doing well, so my anger and sadness isn't directed at my disease this time.
I had CT scans of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis, and while I still have cancer in a rib and a vertebra, it is not progressing, and that is great for me and my family.
Unfortunately, not everyone who has dealt with cancer in the past or is dealing with cancer right now, always gets the same good results I have gotten this week.
I am so lucky, and I know that...and, deep down I count my blessings, but I also feel guilty. I feel guilty that I am doing so well when I have peers who are not.
There was also a time (despite my true happiness for them and their families) I have felt jealous of those who have been "cured". I feel guilty having those kinds of feelings, but I guess that might be part of what makes me human.
Dealing with cancer is such an up and down experience, and I am learning how to appreciate what I have in my life each and every day.
What am I thankful for?! I am thankful for good scans, a loving family, and the strength and courage of my cancer diagnosed peers who have fought or are fighting tough battles....you are my HEROS.
GOD, please be with those who are are having harder times than I!