No longer the kid at the back of the class

So, this whole cancer thing has really changed my perspective on things. I used to be so nervous talking in class that when I was in college I signed up for classes that I knew would have 100+ students in them! And...sadly the communications prerequisite to grad school really held me back. I was terrified to get up and talk in front of a class full of students. I guess having cancer has made me realize what things you should be scared of and what things just aren't worth worrying about. In the last year I have been to 3 cancer related funerals, and I feel somewhat desperate to get the word out and to get people motivated to help find a cure...for any and all types of cancer!
This years relay proved to be a huge success with our team raising somewhere near $21000! That is so AWESOME! The power of community and friendship! It was a little out of my comfort zone though, as I spoke at the event and for TV, radio, and newspaper interviews! I guess I am going to use my misfortune for good...to try and help others.
My oldest son is not so sure about all of this. I think the relay and all the publicity surrounding it has been hard on him and has gotten him thinking about all of this. The other night he came down from his room crying because he couldn't sleep. He was thinking about my cancer. So, I put him in bed with me, and we snuggled. After some silence, I thought he was asleep, but no he was just thinking. After a couple of minutes passed, her said "Mom, why did God have to give you cancer?" I was honest, I don't know why God gave me cancer. I said "Maybe God knew that if I got cancer I would do everything I could to help other people with cancer, and maybe if I didn't have cancer I wouldn't do that." He replied "But you are the nicest person I know, you would help people anyway." What do you say to that? It broke my heart. I just told him that sometime things happen to us, and we don't know why they are happening at the time, but later in life it might make more sense to us. He was not happy with that answer, but that is really all I had to give.
I had my scans last week. I had CT's of my chest, abdomen and pelvis, and a MUGA scan to check my heart. The only cancer they can see at this time is in my one rib. So, everything is still stable on that front! PERFECT!
The MUGA scan showed that my EF has dropped another 10%. It has now dropped 27% in the last 6 months, but it is still at a functioning level. It is at 50%. If it gets down to < 40% we will have to take a look at the big picture and decide what needs to be done differently.
All is good, I can still ride the mechanical bull in Cheyenne without hurting myself! ....not for 8 seconds though, but come on now, I couldn't have done that 10 years ago either!
What am I thankful for?! Days at the pool, snuggling my boys, and my hubby! Happy 12th Anniversary, Honey!