Successful!

Well, It has now been 5 days since my treatment, so I must not be getting any sicker than this! YAY! Feeling great other than some nausea when I try to eat, but the meds fix that! Mildly tired, but truckin right along! Gemzar weeks are gonna be good! Out of town for baseball this weekend (shocking, I know!) and having a good time! The Dawgs won their game tonight!
Rocking a new haircut... since my hair is thinning, I thought a shorter look might be in order.

Thankful for?! My blackberry. The boys have been asleep for a couple hours, and if it wasn't for this phone I would be bored out of my mind!
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So far...

...I am not doing too bad since my Gemzar treatment on Monday. I have been sick to my stomach, but not throwing up and still (almost) able to keep up with the kids! Today was the library, the park, and pitching practice in the back yard!
What am I thankful for?! The company of my BFF! I like having a roommate! Thanks for hanging with me tonight when I was not feeling so great.
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How did I forget?!

I was so focused on how my trip to chemo went that I forget to say THANK YOU to my Relay committee and perseverance team captains and friends who sent the boys and I HUGE gift cards and to my mom and grandmas for there help to make this summer go a lot easier! I don't know exactly how to express how thankful I truely am! Being off work for a while was an extremely difficult/scary decision to make (albeit the right one) and this makes that decision a little less scary.

THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! <3

Thankful for?! This Tracy's Angels!!! xoxo! And...Happy Tears!
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Did it!

Today was pretty successful! I didn't get Gemzar last week like I had (kinda) hoped, but I did get to make it up today! The only thing that was kinda bad today, is that I only got 65% of the dosage due to low platelets. My stomach is pretty upset, but otherwise I am doing okay!
Yesterday the boys and I went swimming!!! Awesome! And tonight Laken won his third ball game 20 to 9!

Thankful for?! QUALITY TIME!!!!!!
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My protectors!

Was going through my photos and just HAD to put this up! Too cute! Don't mess with me, or you will have to deal with them!!!
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Summer Fun

Life is good!!!!
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Gift

A couple days ago I was given a gift of money so that I would be able to stay home from work for a while to work on getting better and to spend quality time with my children!

I was very scared to do this, but today I decided to go for it. I am going to spend time with my kids, reduce my stress, and work on doing everything my doctor wants me to do so that I can be here for as long as possible. The treatments are difficult, but this break from work will allow me to rest when I need to rest and maybe try some other more holistic treatments as well.

Thankful for?! Angels Among Us!
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Sleepless in Lincoln

Today was an amazing day!!!

1st thing this morning an angel dropped the most super fantastic opportunity in my lap! I have a lot of thinking to do on this, and then I will share more details!

Then, I went out to dinner with my mom, grandmother, Dan and the kids! That was nice and easy going! Thanks for dinner, Grandma Leff!

Finally, grandma, Dan, Skye and I went to Laken's first baseball game of the season! They won (big time) and Laken did a great job! It was also great to see that Bryson is on Laken's team, so I will be able to keep up with Bridget now!

Thankful for?! HUGE SURPRISES!!! RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS! And, other than fatigue, I felt pretty good today! No nausea, so I even ate pretty well too!
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Good News/Bad News

The good news is...I know I won't be feeling any worse over the next few days, because I didn't get chemo today.

The bad news is...My cancer is not being treated, because I didn't get chemo today.

It is hard to be disappointed when they say I don't have to put that poison into my body. I don't want to get sick! I don't want to be stuck in the hospital or stuck at home in bed, BUT...not getting chemo means more time for my cancer to grow or spread to more dangerous places, like my liver. I want a long life, but I don't want it to be a miserable one. Where is the line between quantity and quality. When is the quality so bad that you are willing to give up quantity to feel better?

Well, I have until next Monday to ponder these great questions, and then I will meet with the doc to have lab done and determine where we go from here. Do we keep trying this, changing the dosing and scheduling? Do we try a different chemo? Do we wait more?

For now, I don't know those answer.

Thankful for?! Daylight Thunderstorms! LOVE THEM! I love watching the storms roll in and out and the fresh smell of rain!
I should have ran and jumped in the puddles! I did swerve a couple times to hit some BIG puddles with the Jeep, that probably counts!
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Tomorrow...

....chemo day.

What am I thankful for?! My bed!
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Perfect 'Summer' Day

Today was an amazing day! We started the day with a big Diamond Dawgs win, then headed to the waterpark for fun in the sun where I went down a couple waterslides, lounged on the lazy river, swam some laps, and watched the kids enjoy themselves outside of a hot, dirty ballfield, and finally we ended the day with a picnic with our Dawg family!
On the cancer front I am feeling well, but bummed about the constant hair thinning...looks like I need to look for a wig soon. Maybe on Tuesday.
Thankful for?!?! Fun in the SUN and waterparks!!!
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Free!

I talked with the nurses last night, and they got a doc in my room first thing this morning. Talked to the doc and worked my way out of the hospital!

I am now in KC with Dan and the boys! GO DAWGS!!!

Thankful for?! Fresh air and sunshine!
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End of Day 3

It looks like I might be getting out of here tomorrow! My fever is down, and while my while blood counts are dropping, I convinced them to give me a shot to boost those, so hopefully they will be looking better on tomorrow mornings blood draw.

I spent some time with mom, (mostly) dad, grandma Leff, Brandy, Kody, Skye, Laken, and Dan today.

Kody wrote me a book, so I read that this evening. Now I am waiting for my meds so I can go to sleep! If all goes well, I hope to go to KC for the weekend to see Skye play baseball. Keep your fingers crossed!

On a sad note, I got a message yesterday letting me know that this nice new patient that I had met and talked to my cancer center had passed away from pancreatic cancer. Her husband had informed me a few days prior that she was going home to have hospice care in her home, as her organ had begun to shut down, so I knew It was coming, but it sucks all the same.

Thankful for?! More time.
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End of day 2

Well, I am ending day 2 in the hospital and I got to see the boys tonight! Dan brought them over after he got off of work.
Laken is a trooper! His teeth were feeling okay tonight, but his lip was pretty sore. Dan had to run down and get him some motrin.
It is hard to hang with the boys in a hospital room, I could tell they wanted to get home, but I did get good hugs and kisses and they wrote little notes to me on the dry/erase board in my room.
With regards to my health, or lack there of, they don't know the cause of my fevers yet. My temp is back down to normal again. I continue to get IV antibiotics. My stomach is still upset. I haven't kept down more than a canned pear today. Mmmm! =) But, I am happy to not have the chills and shakes like I did yesterday. That was no good!
Thankful for?! A nice chat with Terri! And a lot of text messages from people checking in on me.
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Hospital

Just saw the doc. I am going to be here another night. Fine with me, I feel horrible. Living alone and being sick is rough! Here I have help!
Cancer Sucks! When do I wake up and find that this is all just a bad dream?!
Thankful?! That Laken was able to sleep through the night and grandpa Harnly is looking after him today. Thank you, Jim!
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Hospital

Well, chemo has landed me in the hospital this time. I started getting chills that I couldn't calm with both a blanket and a space heater. I called my doc and he sent me to the ER. While here my fever continued to rise despite tylenol, so they admitted me for IV antibiotics.
While here Laken ran into a pole with his face and chipped a bottom and top permanent front teeth, and pushed the other permanent front tooth back. They splinted that tooth, in an attempt to save it, but he will likely lose it. Poor thing!
Thankful for?! Emergency medical and Dental care!
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Success

I was successful in getting chemo yesterday. They started over with Carboplatin and Gemzar, but have reduced the dosage of carbo by 20% in hopes of not killing all my good cells this time.

I have been sick to my stomach since about 9pm last night, but that is my only side effect, so far that I can tell. But, it is still early. Usually they don't hit till Wed or Thur.

What am I thankful for?! Nausea meds and time last night to spend watering my garden and flowers.
I miss Kim! =( Rest In Peace, Friend.
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Husker Baseball

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36 years old!

Thursday I celebrated my birthday at work and with girl friends past and present! I had a wonderful day and hope they all stick around in the future! I got lots of flowers and gifts...I wish they all knew that getting to SPEND TIME WITH THEM was the gift! In my life, I consider time to be the most coveted gift of all! So, tonight the boys and I spent quality time together at the Husker Baseball game! Nothing' better than that!!! The Huskers won and we enjoyed our time together! Saturday I will be spending time with my boys and my family! We are going to roast hot dogs and marshmallows! I am having a great birthday WEEK!

I also have something great to look forward to! In a week my BFF is moving in with me for a while! It will be so great to have her around!!!

I am so very blessed! In the midst of so much pain and uncertainty, I can still say and be happy that I have so many, many things in my life to be thankful for!

I hope to enjoy the weekend to the fullest, as chemo is just around the corner on Monday, and I need to be prepared for the 'TKO' that comes with it....*sigh*

What am I thankful for?! I am thankful for flowers, pez, M&Ms, rock candy, cards, rubbermaid, Faith, massages, leather pants with pink paint, $, GCs, active shoes with toes, CDs, bubble bath, cameras, more and more and more flowers!!! And, most of all, your TIME and friendship! Hope and Love! -T
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Watching my boys sleep...love it!!!

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Lipstick and Earrings

Today is a great day!

I feel more healthy today than I have in 9 months! Just in time to celebrate my 36th birthday tomorrow!!!

4 more years and I have promised myself a trip to NYC! I CAN do this!

I didn't sleep much last night, so I spent most of the night watching my boys sleep. It was a heavenly view!
Hope and Love to all!

What am I thankful for?! Sunshine and blood donors!
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Sunshine

Today is a better day! Two units of red blood yesterday and some sun, fresh air, baseball, and time with the kids today = Much Better Day!
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More Quality Time than He Expected

My dad drove me to Omaha for lab and chemo today, and again they are putting off my chemotherapy. All my lab was low. White blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets. Plus I told him about my evening fevers, and my lightheadedness.

I will receive daily shots for the next week. One to boost RBCs and one to boost WBCs. I will also get lab every other day to keep an eye on what is happening. I will take antibiotics and will track my temperatures. Chemo will hopefully be next week.

Today we left for Omaha at 9am and we are just heading back to Lincoln now, 9:38pm. When I get there I will have a trip to Walgreens and then finally home to crash! Dad will still have another 40min drive after I hit my bed!

What am I thankful for?! HELP.
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Tomorrow

Tomorrow I am scheduled to make up the chemotherapy (Gemzar) that I had to put off last week. If my white blood cell counts have not rebounded to at least close to the low end of normal, then it is possible that chemo could be put off again. With that comes mixed emotions. I need the chemo to survive this deadly disease, but I HATE dealing with the side effects! This has been worse than the first go around. I suppose that is because my body isn't as strong as it was in the beginning due to having been in treatment for the last 5 years straight.

I have been getting light headed a lot, but I have not passed out since that one time in the middle of the night. I also took my temperature a couple of times this evening and it was 100.8* and 100.4*. They said to call if my temp went up, so I am kinda glad I am going to see my doc in the morning. I am already on antibiotics, so I am not sure why my temperature is up.

What am I thankful for?! Time spent with my parents this weekend. They are spending a lot of time with me and have been so helpful around the house, keeping my spirits up and taking me to Omaha. Brandy also helped by dropping off Gatoraide in every color!
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End of grade school

Tonight Skye had his 5th grade musical. He did fantastic, and I was unable to hold back the tears. This was Skye's last event before heading off to Middle School! What a blessing that I am still here to see this transition, as he was in Kindergarten when I was 1st diagnosed with cancer. While I was happy to be in that seat, the new developments in my cancer definately made me worry about whether I would be at more events in the future. Cancer holds you hostage with thoughts of "when will I die?"...I hate it!!! Anyone could die at any time, but I have to worry about it all the time! I don't want to, I just can't help it! Cancer Sucks! Speaking of cancer sucking, my thoughts are with you Mel! Prayers to you!

Thankful for?! So happy to have spent tonight watching Skye sing! He is my STAR!

Blood Counts

I got the results on my bloodwork, and my white blood cells seem to be rebounding, slowly but surely. They are still low, but they feel that they could be fine by Monday without having to give me the dreaded shots to boost their production. Woo-Hoo! I am not a fan of those shots...the poke I can handle, it's the bone pain that follows that I don't like.

The bad news is that my platelets have plummeted since Monday, so they said if I start to have any bleeding, like a bloody nose, that I should go directly to the ER. If they continue to be this low when I go in on Monday, I will have a platelet transfusion.

Thankful for?!?! Naps.
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Reseaching Drugs

Well, I have been doing my research and the drug that is going to help me get and stay positive is T-DM1.

Hopefully it will be available to people such as myself in a year to 18 months (I hope, crossing fingers!). It was just in stage 2 of clinical trials and was doing so well on my type of breast CA that they stopped the trial and gave it to all the women. They are now trying to rush it through the FDA, but there is still a lot that needs to be done.

Right now they are allowing everyone in the clinical trial to be on and stay on the drug. They are also allowing women to take it on a compassionate basis. In order to get on the drug that way, you half to have failed all types of standard chemotherapy, and have progressive disease. Since, there are types I haven't tried yet, I can't get on the new drug, until it is available to everyone. (12-18 month, hopefully)

What I think is so good about this drug, is that it uses both chemo and biological therapy. Biological therapy allows the combination drug to seek out just the cancer cells and then the chemo component kills them. This is much less toxic on the system, therefore causing fewer side effects! AMEN!

Anyway, that is my simple explaination of what is going on in my head regarding my cancer treatment. My goal is to use these old school standards of treatment to get me through until this new drug combination comes out! The new drug should allow me a much better QOL (quality of life) (if it works for me), than the drugs I am on now.

What am I thankful for?! Dan came over tonight to help us get the video games hooked up. Skye and I have tried for (sadly) months and just couldn't get It accomplished, so Dan so kindly came and got them going. Skye and I were able to plug everything in right, but when It didn't work, we weren't able to discern which component was the problem. Dan was quick at It, and the kids are very happy now! And I am too, maybe they will play a game or too and allow me a little nap time after chemo day. And I can't wait to kick their bootys in bowling! And get started back on the Wii Fit! Fun stuff!

Hope and Love, T
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Holding up Half the Sky

One day an elephant saw a hummingbird lying on it's back with its tiny feet in the air. "What are you doing?" asked the elephant.

The hummingbird replied, "I heard that the sky might fall today, and so I am ready to help hold it up, should it fall."

The elephant laughed cruelly. "Do you really think," he said, "that those tiny feet could help hold up the sky?"

The hummingbird kept his feet int he air, intent on his purpose, as he replied, "Not alone. But each must do what he can. And this is what I can do."

Holding Up Half The Sky- A Chinese Folktale
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Two beautiful flowers for two amazing little boys!

My favorite flower bloomed at my dad's house on my boys' birthday!
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Chemo Update, set back

‪I went into Omaha for lab and treatment today only to find out that I am unable to have chemotherapy this week.‬ The biggest problem is my white blood cell count which is down to almost nothing. Also, my blood pressure is very low, they had to take it three times to get it to even read on the machine, and my weight is down 7 pounds in a week. I have been having chills and I have a low grade fever, so I am also on antibiotics for a week.  They gave me a digital thermometer to keep by my bed to remind me to occasionally take my temperature.  They were not too happy that I had those symptoms and then was around an entire baseball team all weekend (mostly I was in my hotel room, so they seemed pretty ok with that)‬‪.
I will get my blood drawn in Lincoln this Thur to see if my blood counts have gone up any on their own, and if they have, GREAT! If not I will do shots on Fri and Sat to help boost them up and then go in on Monday again to see if they are up to a satisfactory level. If they are, I will have week 2's chemo that day, and then a break the following week before starting my next round. 
They also said I might lose my hair because I have been in so much treatment over the last 5 years and they are giving me a high dose of Carboplatin.  They gave me a script for a wig today incase I want to get a wig ahead of time...to "be prepared".‬‪. Cab anyone really be prepared for the instant hairloss that chemo causes?!
So, the saga continues…‬‪

What am I thankful for?! Thankful for my dad who took the kids to school for me this morning and drove me to Omaha to meet with my oncologist, and for my mom who tipped him off to the idea that I might need help with that today! I have FANTASTIC parents! And, thankful for my sis who called to check on me tonight and talked until her heart monitor started going off in toy-r-us! Haha! That place makes my heart race too! Hers must have been racing so much that her battery was starting to die! Sweet dreams my crazy family!
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Chemo Update

Well, Chemo hit me on Thursday instead of Wednesday, like I had expected. Fortunately, my mom was able to help out and the kids and I had a great day with her at the zoo for their birthdays. Skye commented once that I looked miserable, so we sat out the bears and the aviary and got something to drink while mom and Laken did those. We ended the trip with cupcakes in the parking lot! All in all, I think it turned out well given the situation. We made it back to Lincoln in time for baseball practice (during which I curled up in the Jeep and slept, I was beat to say the least but I would do ANYTHING for my kids) and then we went out to dinner with Dan.
Friday I woke up unable to walk to the bathroom without having to lay down on the floor. I was so weak. It took everything in me to shower....while sitting on the floor of the shower, put some clothes in a bag and brush my teeth by 4pm.
At 4pm Dan and the boys came and put me in the Tahoe, and we headed to Des Moines IA for baseball. When we got here Dan headed to his room, the boys headed to the pool and I hit my room to lay down.
The highlights of the day were: receiving a letter from Skye for mother's day (which made me bawl because he is too grown up for his age sometimes), flowers from the boys in bottles they had decorated, and 9:30pm when the boys came back to the room to snuggle!
At 12:42am my chemo fog seemed to lift, and I am hoping that means a good day of watching baseball tomorrow! (Well, I guess today, since Skye has to be up in 4 hours!)
Luckily I have great support from the other baseball parents, so if things don't go as well as I am hoping, I can always count on them!
What am I thankful for?! A weekend full of baseball with Dan and the boys! Life can be good! Thanks to Heidi S for helping me through the bad times today, because I was having a hard time remembering that, and that is a bad thing to forget!
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Now I get to share photos with you all! How fun! I love photos! YAY! Even better when I can do this from bed! =)

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My sisters marathon shoes! She ran for me and for Lil Ben who lost his battle with a childhood brain tumor.
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The two best things that have ever happened to me!!! My Boys!!!
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Heidi S's marathon shirt! How awesome for her to support me like this! Brandy and Lori B did similair things, but I don't have their pics.
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Brandy and I at the Lincoln National Guard 1/2 Marathon
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I would like to say that my heart hurts for all of us that loved & were touched by our friend Mary Beth who just lost her battle with cancer. RIP! We will miss you! xoxo!

CANCER SUCKS!!!!

1st treatment today! The chemo I will be on should NOT cause hair loss! Wow! 5 continuous yrs on cancer treatments & still no hairloss! Sorry my hairless buds!

I'm going to be treated with Carboplatin/Gemzar/Tykerb. I was on C/G in 2005 and have been on Tykerb since Nov 09. I will have 2 weeks on and 1 week off.

Thanks to all who texted good wishes today & to everyone who has been commenting on my BLOG. In this time of sadness/fear/ frustration your words really help!

Tomorrow is the big day... I will meet with my oncologist, make a plan, and hopefully get the chemotherapy started. I found more swollen lymphnodes today! =(

Had ton of support this weekend from my family, The DDDivas(& dads), & my friends running the marathon! I'm blessed to have these great people in my life! xo

Thankful for?! A lot of fresh air this weekend! The DD's had a great baseball Tournament- 2nd place (YAY Skye), & my sis kicked butt in the 1/2 marathon! Proud!

HAPPY ARBOR DAY! I am thankful for a weekend to spend with family and friends before my new chemo starts! Good Luck Diamond Dawgs and Lincoln Marathoners!

Sad News- Turns out the chemo I've been on hasn't been working. CT scans indicate previous areas of cancer are larger & there are a smattering of new areas.

May 3rd I start a new chemotherapy regimen- full steam ahead! I wish I wasn't going into this already fatigued! Dan & I did sit down and tell the boys tonight!

Thankful for?! Kids who are tough as nails! I pray they wouldn't need to be.

Called to get my CT results from the nurse like I always do. The receptionist said she would have my nurse call me back, like she always does....no call.......

Called for my results the 2nd time & the receptionist put me on hold for the nurse & then got back on the phone to say the Doc will call me. Not sounding good!

Thankful for?!? Friends who talk me through all the possibilities and remind me I have Adivan.... Those through "Thick and Thin" friends! Love you guys!

My Doc didn't call with my scan results yesterday, so I will call this morning and see what I can find out! My fingers and toes are starting to cramp!!! =)

THANKFUL for?!? The story posted below! 17 years is a long time to live with this disease, physically and mentally! What HOPE she provides for human STRENGTH!

A MUST READ from NY TIMES: 17 Years Later, a Cancer Survivor Is Celebrating Life
For more: http://s.nyt.com/s/CsD=24U
HOPE and LOVE! -Tracy

Had chest, abd, & pelvic CT scans today, & also a tibia x-ray. 1st time in a long time that I had tears going into the scanner. Cross your fingers and toes!!!

They are putting a rush on my scan results, so I will probably hear today yet or tom. morning, so send your prayers quickly if u are sending them! HOPE & LOVE!

Thankful for? Koke & the scan dance; for Jill & the others that turn scans at Cancer Cntr into "catching up with friends"! Bless you!!! & a lil extra for Matt!

MRI Results: No cancer in my brain! Today is a day to celebrate!!! AMEN!

What am I thankful for?! Getting a break, medically. I needed positive results for once! YAY!

Waiting....... Thankful for?! The smells of spring! Love the blooming trees, the fresh rain, and the newly mowed lawns. LOVE IT!

Waiting Game...had brain MRI done at 12:30pm today. They said it will be anywhere from 24-72 hours to get the results. 24 okay. 72 CRAZY. HOPE and LOVE, Tracy

What am I thankful for?! All the support I get at work from friends and admin! Thank you all!

Heading to get MRI of brain. Was having some symptoms& then last night I passed out. Just need to check things out since I haven't had MRI lately.

May next appt with my Oncologist is May 3rd.

Cancer update: Tykerb/Xeloda are my current chemos. The lymphnodes & lung/liver are clear & the rib is unchanged/painful. New cancer in my tibia (shin bone).

ONj Update: The condition has not gotten any better, but I have a doc at the pain clinic who is managing my meds & the pain is under fairly good control! Whew!

I continue to be SO, SO, SO thankful for my children, every sec of every day! They are my life! I'm also thankful that they have a Dad that loves them equally!

NYT: Cancer Fight: Unclear Tests for New Drug
For more: http://s.nyt.com/s/H8ZmJIM

2010!

Well, 2010 is already shaping up to be a very busy year! In the next 3 weeks I already have 7 scheduled medical appointments with acupuncture, pain clinic, oncology, and nutrition! The pain patch was a 36 hour relief from my pain, but has stopped working, way too soon! I guess I celebrated too early! Between pain and nausea I have only put in about 20 hours of work a week for the past two weeks! How is this going to pay the bills!? Especially since I JUST BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!!! Woo-Hoo! I close on my house this coming FRIDAY! Yeah! Time to get out of this apartment (or "box" as the kids refer to it!) Can't wait to have a driveway to scoop and a lawn to mow!!! It might seem like a pain, but believe me, you miss it when you don't have it!
Relay Kick-Off is this Tuesday! I am particularly excited this year, as I am the Co-Chair for our event! That is a BIG responsibility with a Relay our size, but I am very excited to be taking on this challenge and working closely with the our Relay Chair, Jackie! I am also traveling to Austin TX in two weeks to speak at the Central Texas Relay University! This will be a great way to get back into the groove of Relay and to connect with many of my extended Relay family members!!! ....and then traveling again the end of February to Dallas TX for Relay Leadership Weekend! YEAH HOH WORKGROUP!!!! We have a lot to do!!! I kinda feel like Texas is my second home! Unfortunately they are not that much warmer than us right now!
Bring on 2010! I can take it!!
What am I thankful for?!?! Friends and family that have patience with me. When I am in pain I do not like to be around other people. It is too difficult. Thank you for giving me space. I promise that when I get this pain under control I will become social again, but right now I only have the ability to handle my responsibilities: kids, medical, work, house, and relay! Love to you all!

Dear GOD, If you are reading my BLOG, could you PLEASE give me strength to cope with my mouth pain? I'm not being very patient with people that I care about.

Thankful for?! Secret Santa surprises, becoming a member at my church, and a weekend with Jayms! (not necessarily in that order)

Results: My cancer is stable. I'll stay on my current chemo regimen as it appears to be helping! Doc is going to talk to a pain specialist about my mouth. HOPE!

Thankful for?! My boys. Wow, could two little boys have bigger hearts?! I am so lucky! <3

CT Scans tomorrow....

Thankful for?! Healthy children. I love them!

Overly busy weekend, and then 1st scans since starting new chemo on Monday! Thankful for?! The opportunities I have been given in life!

Giving THANKS today! ...the list is unending! I feel so blessed! Have a safe holiday full of love, happiness, and good cheer! Hope and Love, T

2nd Opinion on Jaw

Well, I met with the oral surgeon at UNMC that works with a lot of patients with ONj. And, the consensus is that we do...nothing. There is good and bad news that goes with this decision.
The good news: He thinks that if my ONj was going to progress it would have already progressed at least a little in the last three months that I have been dealing with it. So, he doesn't think that it will get worse.
The bad news: What will happen is that piece of my jaw will die, and I will "spit it out". Mmmm...nice. But, once that happens there will, hopefully, be enough tissue for that area to heal shut and, hopefully, make my pain go away. This could take anywhere from 6 months to 18+ months to occur.
To review-
Good news: The pain will end.
Bad news: Not for quite some time.
What am I thankful for?!
Dinner with Dad and grandma and grandpa Lingwall this afternoon, and Thanksgiving with Mom and grandma and grandpa Leff this weekend. And...the kids are excited to open one Christmas present each tonight and we had fun decorating for Christmas lastnight. Life is still good! =)

Well, the appt is set! I will meet with the specialist at UNMC on Monday at 1pm! I am hopeful that he will have some helpful ideas for me!

What am I thankful for?! Todays beautiful weather!

Great article Jennifer (Lowe) Livernois! Thankful for you and your proactive attitute in your community!

Health officials decry report on mammograms
http://m.billingsgazette.com/mobile/article_09abc8ba-d3d7-11de-a898-001cc4c002e0.html

Saw the oral surgeon. He's referring me to a specialist at UNMC. The date of that appt isn't set yet. Until then, continue pain meds & stop the topical agents.

Thankful for?! A new perspective on the horizon. And I am thankful for my oral surgeon. I honestly think he wants what is best for me! Thanks for the hug!

Whining about my mouth/jaw...sorry.

Here is a link to the best information I have found regarding my condition....I have had a million and one people ask me about it, and why they can't "fix" it, and what they are going to do next, etc. Here is a good article regarding my condition and the treatment of my condition...

http://jop.stateaffiliates-asco.org/JanuaryIssue/7.pdf

I do think I would think twice before ever taking IV Zometa, and I will NEVER go back on it again! I am miserable! I have had a "toothache" for 3 months now! I think the drug company should add to the list of warnings that it CAN and DOES spontaniously occur in patients that have had NO dental work done, and who have EXCELLENT teeth and dental hygiene. I know...because it happened to me.

I see the oral surgeon again tomorrow. I hope he has an idea for better pain management!

What am I thankful for?! Pain medication.

Had my monthly follow-up appt with my oncologist today. *Nothing new to report* Scans in 4 wks. Thankful for?! The nice drive to Omaha. The weather is great!

The Week Ahead | Cancer patient organizes run to fight her disease - KansasCity.com

The Week Ahead Cancer patient organizes run to fight her disease - KansasCity.com

Missed my kids more than anything lastnight! Wish I could have gone trick-r-treating with them. Thankful for?! IM picture messaging! Thanks for the photos, Dan!

New email address!

GETTING THINGS TOGETHER! After 10 1/2 months, I spent most of today trying to get my bills and affairs into better order.
My daycare payments have been incorrect, so I have been paying too much (great record keeping, huh), but at least I don't owe extra.
My email has also been going thru Dan's modem rather than mine, so I could never fix my connection and haven't been getting email on my PC forever (been using my blackberry for everything) but, after 3 hours on the phone with timewarner, an help from Dan, I have a new email address. Please make a note of it...

tharnly1@neb.rr.com!

Please do not use tharnly@neb.rr.com or tmarymoon@yahoo.com or tmarymoon@gmail.com. I no longer check them...it is TOO MUCH to keep track of! Thank you!

What am I thankful for? The 2nd person a timewarner that helped me- she was great, Dan for helping out in the middle of his work day, and the couple coors lights that helped me with my patience. You know how I am....I want everything fixed YESTERDAY! =)

Now I am going to watch Johnny Cash- Walk the Line with a friend....Love it!

DO NOT look at photos of ONj on the www.! I didnt know if I was going to vomit or pass out! The photos did come with a warning. I shouldve heeded that warning!

Just went back to the oral surgeon. He spoke with my oncologist & will follow up with me monthly to follow up on the osteonecrosis of my jaw caused by Zometa.

What am I thankful for?! A caring medical TEAM! The # of team members keeps increasing! Yeeps!

The Tracy's hit the Lincoln Journal Star- Oh dear!

http://www.journalstar.com/news/local/article_3a30519c-b9e0-11de-b82e-001cc4c002e0.html

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer is THIS Sunday! Reg@12PM! Walk@1PM! Please join us & WEAR YOUR PINK!!! Thankful for?! Susan's smiles! She is doing great!

GOOD NEWS!!! Abdomen and foot...CANCER FREE! I don't even care what is wrong with them now!!! Thankful for?! Good news from the Doc!

Tracy & I are scheduled to have a story run about us this coming Friday, in the Lincoln Journal Star, written by the ever too fantastic Cindy Lange-Kubick!

10/12 appt: Dr stopped my IV Zometa due to complications with my jaw. I had a foot xray and an abdominal ultrasound to check out some pain. I am not stressed.

Thankful for?! Time spent with Tracy at our oncologists office. We just laugh the whole time! What a blessing! (although I do wish she didn't have to be here!)

What am I thankful for?!?! All my Relay friends kicking off Summit!!! Celebrate, Remember, Fight Back! Hope and Love to you all!

Apparently mammos, when you expect nothing, can be nervewracking too, because I have tears now for "no" reason. Must be the test. ? Thankful for?! Great tech!

Today: Lab & mammo. Tomorrow: Newspaper interview. Wed: Funeral. Thankful for?! Extra time with the boys this week! Can't wait to give them gifts from Denver!