More treatment and more test results

This week I had a MUGA scan and treatment. Treatment was uneventful as always. I am anemic, so I have some new fun vitamins to take! Unfortunately my MUGA scan showed that my heart function has dropped by 17%, and my ejection fraction (EF) is only 60%. This isn't necessary a bad EF, but when coupled with my situation it is, because if my EF drops to 55% then they will take me off of the Herceptin. Herceptin, while it has none of the typical chemo side effects, like losing your hair and throwing up, it does threaten to harm your heart. But, I am sure it will go back up...I mean, I have Angels and all and I just ran a 10k last weekend!!!! If my EF doesn't go back up then they will probably give me a little break from treatment to build up my system a little, and the new drug Tykerb is now out. It is taken in combination with Xeloda, and is very promising for those of us with metastatic breast cancer. I actually know 2 people that just started it, so hopefully it will do the job! They are in my thoughts always!

So about that 10k! Wow, that was hard(and WINDY), but it was not nearly as hard as some of the things that are going on with others right now! The pain was GOOD pain and I am SO THANKFUL that I was able to run! As inspiration to keep me running when I didn't think I could, I borrowed a permanent marked from the track trailer and wrote "Jeff" on the back of one hand. He will ALWAYS be my running partner, and although he is no longer here physically I know he is with me when I run, if only in spirit. Only the other hand, I wrote the name of a friend...may God be with her and her family. I think about them several times a day, and they are in my heart always! I guess some things are just not meant to be understood.

On a happier note, when I was 1st diagnosed with cancer, I didn't think that I would be here to see my youngest son go to kindergarten, as he was only 2 years old at the time, but yesterday I got to take him to Kindergarten Visitation!!!! Chalk that up as one of the happiest moments in my life!

What am I thankful for?! Arbor day (yep, I have the day off!), Kindergarten, running partners who are my strength daily even though they don't know it, the journals I have started for my children (I have been meaning to do that for so long), and the rain.

Test Results

Quick update.
I am not very inspired to blog right now.
CANCER SUCKS...and I just feel too angry right now to deal with it.
Miraculously, I am doing well, so my anger and sadness isn't directed at my disease this time.
I had CT scans of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis, and while I still have cancer in a rib and a vertebra, it is not progressing, and that is great for me and my family.
Unfortunately, not everyone who has dealt with cancer in the past or is dealing with cancer right now, always gets the same good results I have gotten this week.
I am so lucky, and I know that...and, deep down I count my blessings, but I also feel guilty. I feel guilty that I am doing so well when I have peers who are not.
There was also a time (despite my true happiness for them and their families) I have felt jealous of those who have been "cured". I feel guilty having those kinds of feelings, but I guess that might be part of what makes me human.
Dealing with cancer is such an up and down experience, and I am learning how to appreciate what I have in my life each and every day.
What am I thankful for?! I am thankful for good scans, a loving family, and the strength and courage of my cancer diagnosed peers who have fought or are fighting tough battles....you are my HEROS.
GOD, please be with those who are are having harder times than I!